depression · Life

Is this goodbye?

I’m going to do it, I’ve had enough
This life for me has no fucking love

I have no fear, I defy all in my darkest time

I’m downing this bottle, all this wine

I need it as I don’t want to feel the pain

When I’m going to cut up all my vein

I’m going to bleed, to end my life

To exit this devastation, the hassle, the strife

I deserve it, to suffer, for what I will leave

My family, all the others, what will they believe?

By finding me here, in a puddle of my blood

As my body will piss blood like a crimson flood

What will they do, what will they say?

Will they forgive me, will they pray?

I’m weak, I’m desperate, but this is my ultimate plan

It is me who will hold my life in my hands

What will it be like when I start to cut?

Will my tears flow, will I have the guts?

Can I cut deep, explode an artery?

What am I doing, am I worried?

I’m so selfish, taking the easy root out if I dare

Not worried about my friend, the only person who really cares

She’s so special, she matters so much

I imagine for her this is going to suck

Forced to listen, to accept how I feel, 

All my cries for help, how does she feel?

Sorry to my family for not being the timid girl you want

I’m the strong feminist, will you miss me when I’m gone?

You always judged me for being me

Why did you never want me to be happy?

I hate myself for being an attention seeker wanting to die

It’s going to happen now, will I do it, is this goodbye?


A poem about the life of one of my readers. A massive thank you to you. If anyone else has a life experience that they would like me to write a poem about please email me.

I appreciate every one of my readers and I thank you for any contributions in comments, likes, follows and especially emails for taking the time to share with me your life stories that you wish me to write about.

If you feel I deserve a share please do not hesitate, I just wish to write to give you pleasure.

Stay positive.


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Phil lister 03/10/17

4 thoughts on “Is this goodbye?

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