Life · love

Goodbye my father

Goodbye my father

I got a call, I remember, I thought it was a stroke

I left that day, to the hospital, my heart broke

I arrived there to see you there lying still

I hoped it untrue, it was my only will

Then I was there, at your side hoping you might wake

“Oh god, wake up, please, for goodness sake”

Suddenly you sat up and you looked to me

“Who are you?” that feeling still sickens me

Then you laid back down, back into a sleep

We were shocked, we started to weep

Time passed by, agonizingly slow

Just waiting, waiting for time to go

I knew, what was coming, to me it was clear

Your heart, your soul, about to disappear

The final moments came, you left us for good

My father, I love you and I always would.

.

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8 thoughts on “Goodbye my father

  1. I’ve just come across your blog, Phil, and I’m so glad that I did. You are truly a man after my own heart as I, too, write from my heart and soul. It’s the only way I know how to write. This piece is beautiful, although so filled with pain. I feel that so much. I’m so sorry that you lost your father and in the way that you did, too. My Mum had a stroke six years ago this Christmas. She never recovered and I watched her slip gradually away from me. She lost movement and speech, which was heartbreaking. I think I did most of my grieving at that time, although, of course, finally losing her was incredibly painful, too. Thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts and your heart-touching poetry. I will read more over the next couple of days. Thank you for sharing. I’m glad I’ve found you … Ellie 🦢

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so welcome, I’m not going anywhere, thank you for sharing your thoughts, even though we may be strangers we are able to share the most intimate parts of our grief and no one is there to judge and we can say what we want. That must have been incredibly hard for you losing her. I know with my dad at least it was quick, it was a sudden pain of knowing he had cancer, knowing the inevitable but them nine months we to tried to bond as much as possible even if the final days he did not know who I was at least he had mercy even if it was brutal to see. I hold on to the good moments, the big hugs with his big belly, the stories he would repeat over and over again, I wish he would still repeat it now. Even if it’s been like 14 years I’ll never forget his face, his beard his hair his mannerisms. And even if I am sad thinking about him now, I’m still smiling from those wonderful memories.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s so good that you were able to bond with your father and that you have happy memories of him, too. I also have many happy memories of my Mum before her stroke. I remember all the laughter we shared, her wonderful sense of humour, her arms around me when I felt upset or vulnerable, and the two-hour chats on the phone as I couldn’t access her house with my wheelchair for many years before her death. Mum had agoraphobia for most of my life, so she couldn’t leave her home to go out. Hence we didn’t see each other for years. In a way, I’m grateful that after her stroke, she was in hospital, which was wheelchair accessible, and I was able to see her for her last days; however, not able to get there in time to be with her in her passing. It still haunts me that she was totally alone when she died. Sorry, I seem to be telling you my life history – despite only just having ‘met’ you, I feel a strong sense of connection to you. I’m looking forward to reading more about your life and your sensitive thoughts. Take care … Ellie 🦢

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It’s perfectly alright,it’s nice to connect and hear your story. Agoraphobia that must have been difficult, I can’t imagine. Likewise, I look forward to reading yours too, have a great day.

        Liked by 1 person

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