I never got to ask you

And now I never will

So many thoughts in my mind

Alone is how I feel

.

I cannot hit stop

My mind will not allow

If only you could hear me

My voice, somehow

.

What happens to our love

When we drift apart?

Where does it go

When we have to restart?

.

How much do we have to hurt

Before the pain subsides?

Does it hurt for them as well

How it hurts me inside?

.

Will it just pass away

Along with the time?

Will it just stay with me

One day to feel fine?

.

As lying to ourselves

To suppress the obvious truth

Seems easier to us

Than seeing the actual proof

.

And which of us is unbroken

Tattered in shadowed thoughts?

Now feeling enormous regret

Wishing that they had fought

Do I deserve someone to fill my void?

Forever looking but feel destroyed

Tarnished by myself, my self-belief

That longing too much, just no relief

I am not a catch, I’m ugly and fat

No one could want me, it’s a fact

Dated for years to find just one

That perfect person, special someone

I don’t want a fling, nothing less

I’m not interested in emptyness

My bed is empty as I long so much

To feel close to someone, just to touch

To whisper sweet nothings all through the day

I don’t think it’s for me I am afraid

To feel loved and wanted, all that I ask

Maybe I am dreaming? I’m having a laugh?

Please one day, let me meet my match?

I’m sure they’ll be great, a real catch

To think about someone

To be thought about too

To talk to someone

Who listens too

To fight with someone

Who gets upset too

To care about someone

Who cares for you too

This loneliness I feel

Wishing to be loved

By someone

By myself.

.

My heart permanently throbbing

I’ve always hated silence

Reminding me of my prescence.

.

That clock ticking

Every tick a second lost

As if my time priceless.

.

I’m so happy that you’re back

Your absence was long

I was like a shoe

With the laces undone

Walking around

Waiting to be re-tied

Back to normal

Change despised

Now in my arms

I need it more than you

My insecurities laid bare

I need a hug from you

I feel so much better

Knowing that you’re there

Oh how I missed you

With your golden blonde hair

.

Taken from my latest book searching for you

Was I missed my dear when I walked out the door

What did you do my dear to be curled up on the floor

I just came back because I forgot my coat

Not for you you stupid bloke

.

Taken from my latest book searching for you

Tears be not a form of weakness

But a form of strength

For all the hurt received

You would go to any length

Never giving up

Through all the hurt and strain

Always resting defiant

No matter what the pain

So when that tear falls

Not one ounce of regret

Be proud of yourself

And never ever forget

We can take a photo of this moment

The one second everything is perfect

Forget all our past forever devouring

The snide comments, poisoning cloud

Mist soaking us through, transpiration so

Weather for today may be overcast

But the filter can always be changed

Cracks to be hidden or smoothed over

Smile like you have never smiled before

Sell it to them, your soul to leave

Your only wish, the perfect photo

To be believed

A shell of myself

A husk crimped to shreds

I am what you want me to be?

Sold out to the world

Change for a soul

Just who decides

Control relinquished

For this object you call

Me

Tired of being what you want me to be

I will never be good enough

My soul sucked by your every wish

Your selfish thoughts

Your every desire

To change me to something I am not

You never see me smile

Because of hurt inside

It is your fault

You did this to me

My anger so bitter I could

Well

No

I wouldn’t know how

To escape this poisonous gauntlet of love

Or so called

One day you will see