Searching for you

I never got to ask you

I never got to ask you

And now I never will

So many thoughts in my mind

Alone is how I feel


I cannot hit stop

My mind will not allow

If only you could hear me

My voice, somehow


What happens to our love

When we drift apart?

Where does it go

When we have to restart?


How much do we have to hurt

Before the pain subsides?

Does it hurt for them as well

How it hurts me inside?


Will it just pass away

Along with the time?

Will it just stay with me

One day to feel fine?


As lying to ourselves

To suppress the obvious truth

Seems easier to us

Than seeing the actual proof


And which of us is unbroken

Tattered in shadowed thoughts?

Now feeling enormous regret

Wishing that they had fought

Searching for you

Fill my void

Do I deserve someone to fill my void?

Forever looking but feel destroyed

Tarnished by myself, my self-belief

That longing too much, just no relief

I am not a catch, I’m ugly and fat

No one could want me, it’s a fact

Dated for years to find just one

That perfect person, special someone

I don’t want a fling, nothing less

I’m not interested in emptyness

My bed is empty as I long so much

To feel close to someone, just to touch

To whisper sweet nothings all through the day

I don’t think it’s for me I am afraid

To feel loved and wanted, all that I ask

Maybe I am dreaming? I’m having a laugh?

Please one day, let me meet my match?

I’m sure they’ll be great, a real catch

Searching for you

So happy you’re back

I’m so happy that you’re back

Your absence was long

I was like a shoe

With the laces undone

Walking around

Waiting to be re-tied

Back to normal

Change despised

Now in my arms

I need it more than you

My insecurities laid bare

I need a hug from you

I feel so much better

Knowing that you’re there

Oh how I missed you

With your golden blonde hair


Taken from my latest book searching for you

Searching for you

The perfect photo

We can take a photo of this moment

The one second everything is perfect

Forget all our past forever devouring

The snide comments, poisoning cloud

Mist soaking us through, transpiration so

Weather for today may be overcast

But the filter can always be changed

Cracks to be hidden or smoothed over

Smile like you have never smiled before

Sell it to them, your soul to leave

Your only wish, the perfect photo

To be believed

Searching for you

So called love

Tired of being what you want me to be

I will never be good enough

My soul sucked by your every wish

Your selfish thoughts

Your every desire

To change me to something I am not

You never see me smile

Because of hurt inside

It is your fault

You did this to me

My anger so bitter I could



I wouldn’t know how

To escape this poisonous gauntlet of love

Or so called

One day you will see