.

I longed to have a child, I longed to be a mum

But according to the medical world it could not be done

Oh the grief I felt to need to mother a child

Adoption for my partner just turned out too wild

So I sat there in my gloom, feeling sorry for myself

My motherhood instincts destined for the shelf

Somehow fifteen years on the ultimate miracle befell me

I became pregnant, how on earth, I was happy as can be

It was a shock and I went through it all

Resentment kicked in and denial, awful

It took some time but I came to terms

It took me a month but I soon learned

I was so happy with my baby and our future dreams

But nothing would ever turn out as simple as it seemed

I went in to premature labour, my son was born

It was too early for him and my heart was torn

He was given to me, my angel, my boy on my chest

Thirty minutes he had to live, then he continued his rest

Skin to skin, his heartbeat with mine

His breathing, me wanting to slow down time

He died in my arms, in my fucking arms

I would of given my life for him not to of been harmed

I laid for hours watching him, screaming, crying, wailing

Why this way? Why? I was in shock, even shaking

I examined him, every inch of his perfect face

I could not look away, his mother’s sweet embrace

I fell in love, real love that day

Love bloomed in my heart in every way

.

It is now 6 years on from the death of my son

I have learned so much and I refuse to run

It’s not like I could just walk away from my grief

Like trying to escape my arm, my leg or even my beliefs

I learned who my true friends really are

All their support, they were really my stars

And I sympathize with others now it wasn’t always the case

Because them empty friends were really a waste of space

And I know that I can’t control everything in life it’s not the way

I love you my son and I will always remember you on our day

.

.

A poem about the life of one of my readers. A massive thank you to you.

A beautiful and wonderful soul.