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What do you think ?

Oh the irony

It just makes me laugh

I never was your first choice

Just not on your path

After months together

Finally ready to trust

I gave you the three words

In my book a must

We were happy again

I was in bliss

Good just being with you

Every little kiss

Until the day you left me

Distance so ever sure

You wasn’t replying

The story evermore

It hurt so much

But it wasn’t new

My head cried for my heart

Not knowing what to do

After a year we stayed friends

We still met

Nothing happened

Certainly wouldn’t bet

Until one night

We went out and had a ball

Fuck it was crazy

It had it all

Alcohol, dancing, clubs at 40+

Then it was sure

A kiss and cuddle

I was gonna score

So we went to yours

Drunken mess sex

Just enjoying ourselves

It wasn’t my best

It was one off

I was gone the next day

A silly mistake

It was nice to play

A few days later

Lighting my phone

You wanted more

To come to my home

So one more time

It happened again

A nice escape

With a good friend

You checked with me

That i was good

You said “just sex”

And I said “yes”

No news for two months

Until I text

Come to catch up

Hoping for sex

So this time we meet

It was all good

But she wants more

Not just some wood

To be a couple

But not really

“I don’t know for how long”

“What do you think ?”

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Strongest pain is just numb

Anger builds

Pulse racing

Rejected again

Hurt within

Self doubt

Self hate

Noose tightening

Bitter tasting

Breath fading

Slowly wading

Questions pounding

Why why why

It never changes

Never fucking ever

Silence crushing

Company cutting

Glass piercing

Vein splitting

Crimson flowing

Bowl filling

Blood swimming

Obscene spewing

Nothing suprises me anymore

Strongest pain is just numb

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A relationship misunderstood

We met, the first time

Me a beer, you a wine

Date went well, decided to leave

In front of the bar, tongues would not leave

Romance was our passion, so much it overflowed

So intertwined the first dates, not wanting to ever go

Weeks passed, our passion, pure desire

Questions raised, dousing our fire

Could we ever be together? let’s see how it goes

See what the future holds, I think we all know

Never really knowing each other, at least how we should

Just how it ending, our relationship misunderstood

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And say goodbye

You were always honest

I cannot complain

Right from the start

The rules were the same

Wanting and wishing

For a little bit more

To feel closer

To warm my core

We started so well

It felt so good

I just don’t know

What I understood

The passion was so raw

Our appetites strong

Just the honeymoon period

Stringing us along

The text messages

Every single day

You were my friend

Keeping my demons at bay

I felt so close to you

That there was a spark

Me be foolish

Following my heart

The distance always comes knocking

The silence lasts a day

Before it was not possible

Just wasn’t our way

We became just partners

Good for an hour

The moment always great

The afterwards sour

I tell myself we need to talk

Even if I’ll be sad

Because lying to ourselves

Will just be as bad

You arrange for us to meet

Our first date in two months

I feel happy again

I didn’t know it was a front

I go to kiss you

You seem a little off

We sit down talking

In the shade to cool off

You wouldn’t let me take a photo

You’re so beautiful in your dress

I thought your actions were off

Something to get off your chest

It’s been a while

And you don’t see any sparks

I listen to you

Fidgeting with the grass

We both had similar thoughts

And this time it’s the end

I was losing you

And a friend

We sat in silence

As I rip up the grass

Listening to music

As people walk past

I decide to leave

As we walk to the car

I kiss you on the cheek

And say goodbye

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Forget me

I’ve thought about you

For as long as I can think

I cherish the most

How much we speak

.

All the little comments

Sparking my delight

Makes me want you even more

Not just to pass the night

.

You planted the seed

A long time ago

You nurtured the seedling

As you watched it grow

.

You would water it

As you would see fit

Not really protecting it

Just a little bit

.

When confessing my feelings

Hoping there was a chance

You would pull away

Not even a glance

.

That plant you had nurtured

Was being left to die

With words uttered forget me

It was all just a lie

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Maybe hearts lied?

I see you

You see me

Do you think

We are meant to be?

.

Time has passed

It’s been a while

Every message

Makes me smile

.

We can’t confirm

We never will

We seem more seeking

Of the thrill

.

Absence glues

More than known

I never knew

Feelings shown

.

I saw it once

In your eyes

Your telling glance

Sure I spied

.

I hold it close

To my heart

Cherished moment

Cannot be bought

.

Keeping simple

We can hide

What we desired

Maybe hearts lied?

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Without you there is no me

You said you would be here

Down by the water

As the sun rose

And we would be in each others arms

.

But you’re not here

As you promised

What’s going on?

Why did you lie?

.

I sit by the water

As if my tears had filled the lake

And all I can think

Is why did I make this mistake?

.

I trusted you

That you would be mine

I gave myself

I was your shrine

.

I left everything

And now I am here alone

I don’t even have a place

To call my home

.

Where are you?

Please find me

I can’t be by myself

Without you there is no me

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The warmth within

Oh how I despise

The frightfully cold delight

The wind is curling my toes

And blowing me to and fro

.

I can’t stand it anymore

I just want it to thaw

Just go away, pesky snow

On your way, begone, go

.

I’m freezing all the way to my bones

So cold, even in my home

Even this cup of tea

Is doing nothing for me

.

Rain rain and rain again

Floods ahoy, when will it end?

The bridges are closed

There’s rain to my toes

.

Breathe…… Breathe

It’s not forever

It will pass

Never say never

.

And where are the flowers?

In my wanting voice

Where are you hiding?

When can I rejoice?

.

It’s nearly here

Almost out of the woods

The forest flooded too

If only it could

.

Watching the raindrops

Trickle the window

Tracing with my finger

To and fro

.

Till that first day of warmth

Feel that sun on your skin

Oh how it feels good

Feeling the warmth within