In my life
Out my life
We fuck when you want
Then you leave
Connection, ecstasy, contentment
Distanced, depression, emptiness
You want this
I want that
You win
I lose
Everyone is welcome
In my life
Out my life
We fuck when you want
Then you leave
Connection, ecstasy, contentment
Distanced, depression, emptiness
You want this
I want that
You win
I lose
Just because you can
Doesn’t mean you should
Oh the irony
It just makes me laugh
I never was your first choice
Just not on your path
After months together
Finally ready to trust
I gave you the three words
In my book a must
We were happy again
I was in bliss
Good just being with you
Every little kiss
Until the day you left me
Distance so ever sure
You wasn’t replying
The story evermore
It hurt so much
But it wasn’t new
My head cried for my heart
Not knowing what to do
After a year we stayed friends
We still met
Nothing happened
Certainly wouldn’t bet
Until one night
We went out and had a ball
Fuck it was crazy
It had it all
Alcohol, dancing, clubs at 40+
Then it was sure
A kiss and cuddle
I was gonna score
So we went to yours
Drunken mess sex
Just enjoying ourselves
It wasn’t my best
It was one off
I was gone the next day
A silly mistake
It was nice to play
A few days later
Lighting my phone
You wanted more
To come to my home
So one more time
It happened again
A nice escape
With a good friend
You checked with me
That i was good
You said “just sex”
And I said “yes”
No news for two months
Until I text
Come to catch up
Hoping for sex
So this time we meet
It was all good
But she wants more
Not just some wood
To be a couple
But not really
“I don’t know for how long”
“What do you think ?”
Anger builds
Pulse racing
Rejected again
Hurt within
Self doubt
Self hate
Noose tightening
Bitter tasting
Breath fading
Slowly wading
Questions pounding
Why why why
It never changes
Never fucking ever
Silence crushing
Company cutting
Glass piercing
Vein splitting
Crimson flowing
Bowl filling
Blood swimming
Obscene spewing
Nothing suprises me anymore
Strongest pain is just numb

We met, the first time
Me a beer, you a wine
Date went well, decided to leave
In front of the bar, tongues would not leave
Romance was our passion, so much it overflowed
So intertwined the first dates, not wanting to ever go
Weeks passed, our passion, pure desire
Questions raised, dousing our fire
Could we ever be together? let’s see how it goes
See what the future holds, I think we all know
Never really knowing each other, at least how we should
Just how it ending, our relationship misunderstood
You were always honest
I cannot complain
Right from the start
The rules were the same
Wanting and wishing
For a little bit more
To feel closer
To warm my core
We started so well
It felt so good
I just don’t know
What I understood
The passion was so raw
Our appetites strong
Just the honeymoon period
Stringing us along
The text messages
Every single day
You were my friend
Keeping my demons at bay
I felt so close to you
That there was a spark
Me be foolish
Following my heart
The distance always comes knocking
The silence lasts a day
Before it was not possible
Just wasn’t our way
We became just partners
Good for an hour
The moment always great
The afterwards sour
I tell myself we need to talk
Even if I’ll be sad
Because lying to ourselves
Will just be as bad
You arrange for us to meet
Our first date in two months
I feel happy again
I didn’t know it was a front
I go to kiss you
You seem a little off
We sit down talking
In the shade to cool off
You wouldn’t let me take a photo
You’re so beautiful in your dress
I thought your actions were off
Something to get off your chest
It’s been a while
And you don’t see any sparks
I listen to you
Fidgeting with the grass
We both had similar thoughts
And this time it’s the end
I was losing you
And a friend
We sat in silence
As I rip up the grass
Listening to music
As people walk past
I decide to leave
As we walk to the car
I kiss you on the cheek
And say goodbye
I’ve thought about you
For as long as I can think
I cherish the most
How much we speak
.
All the little comments
Sparking my delight
Makes me want you even more
Not just to pass the night
.
You planted the seed
A long time ago
You nurtured the seedling
As you watched it grow
.
You would water it
As you would see fit
Not really protecting it
Just a little bit
.
When confessing my feelings
Hoping there was a chance
You would pull away
Not even a glance
.
That plant you had nurtured
Was being left to die
With words uttered forget me
It was all just a lie
I see you
You see me
Do you think
We are meant to be?
.
Time has passed
It’s been a while
Every message
Makes me smile
.
We can’t confirm
We never will
We seem more seeking
Of the thrill
.
Absence glues
More than known
I never knew
Feelings shown
.
I saw it once
In your eyes
Your telling glance
Sure I spied
.
I hold it close
To my heart
Cherished moment
Cannot be bought
.
Keeping simple
We can hide
What we desired
Maybe hearts lied?
You said you would be here
Down by the water
As the sun rose
And we would be in each others arms
.
But you’re not here
As you promised
What’s going on?
Why did you lie?
.
I sit by the water
As if my tears had filled the lake
And all I can think
Is why did I make this mistake?
.
I trusted you
That you would be mine
I gave myself
I was your shrine
.
I left everything
And now I am here alone
I don’t even have a place
To call my home
.
Where are you?
Please find me
I can’t be by myself
Without you there is no me
Oh how I despise
The frightfully cold delight
The wind is curling my toes
And blowing me to and fro
.
I can’t stand it anymore
I just want it to thaw
Just go away, pesky snow
On your way, begone, go
.
I’m freezing all the way to my bones
So cold, even in my home
Even this cup of tea
Is doing nothing for me
.
Rain rain and rain again
Floods ahoy, when will it end?
The bridges are closed
There’s rain to my toes
.
Breathe…… Breathe
It’s not forever
It will pass
Never say never
.
And where are the flowers?
In my wanting voice
Where are you hiding?
When can I rejoice?
.
It’s nearly here
Almost out of the woods
The forest flooded too
If only it could
.
Watching the raindrops
Trickle the window
Tracing with my finger
To and fro
.
Till that first day of warmth
Feel that sun on your skin
Oh how it feels good
Feeling the warmth within