Why this feeling?

I’m doing better now

But I feel so drained

Just wondering how

To get through

To carry on

When I feel like this

The same old song

I try and try

But I feel so lost

Just when I thought

I was becoming my boss

I relapse again

The blackness is back

For how long this time

This constant attack

Ever noticed how addicted we are

Glued to phones trying to be stars

We want and want with all we have

Selling our souls, such a drag

Like me, follow, I’ll follow you

DMS like counts, waiting in a queue

Until it eats us or we don’t care anymore

And we stop being social medias whore

Why are we trained to look for love?

In all around us, never enough

We search and search till we can’t no more

Finding someone and feeling sure

Then it all subsides and we let ourselves go

Until we have dug ourselves the biggest hole

Buried in debt anxiety and stress

Look for a way out from the mess

Starting from zero many years older

Much more anxiety upon the shoulders

Do we need someone? Maybe it would be nice?

Even more undecided how to get through life

Forgive yourself

It’s not your fault

It doesn’t matter

What is broke

You have to build

To start again

To heal yourself

To find a friend

Talk to someone

Keep them close

You need that now

Probably the most

It will get better

A day at a time

Love yourself

And you’ll be fine

I’m looking to be happy again

One day at a time

It’s been hard recently

Even finding words to rhyme

Just existing is hard to do

Sometimes wanting something new

But all is hard and effort is taxing

I’m afraid my limit is already at maximum

For all that have fallen and passed through my hands

Unfortunately I have never been a strong enough man

Even one step in front of me seems blocked everyday

I have to break myself to pass and find a way

But every time I break I have to put myself back together

This healing is so long, I fear it could last forever

What do I use to build myself back up?

Every time I glue I always come unstuck

I don’t trust anymore to accept someone’s help

Am I really destined to be by myself ?

Feelings dire

As alone again

Overwhelming

Until when

I can’t work out

Why I feel?

So bothered now

Lost the will

I cry inside

To myself

Silently

Never out

I’m always strong

Can’t you see?

Look at me

Happy, be free

It’s all a lie

I’m dead inside

Pushing away

Through the tide

Why is it here?

This crippling force

Suffocating

With all its torque

It will last for hours

A day or two

Until it eats me

Until it’s through

I thought I wanted it

My mind lied

It told me I did

It’s not the case

I have gone so long

Just getting by

Dipping confrontation

Forgoing why

And now all his changed

I can be free

To want again

To restart

The problem is

I don’t know how

I can’t force myself

And I don’t want to

Why do I do this?

Want something

Then when it’s there

Throw it far away

What’s wrong with me?

Is it me?

Yeah, it’s fucking me

I’m so broken