Tag: depression

Feel good · New work

In making the next step

Phil ListerLeave a comment

I don’t know why I’m here really

The purpose or the point

Just to serve others

In oiling their joints

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I can see why people have enough

I can see why they let go

Looking upon our lives fuck up

A piss poor horror show

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Starting from nothing

I will build myself again

I will try to set the foundations

Before fixing the frames

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I am so tired of falling apart

With everything I try to build

I have to protect myself

In every way with a shield

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I have hurt myself and others

I admit I am certainly at fault

But I will not live in the past

From now on I will revolt

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In making the next step

I will take several more

I hope to enjoy myself

Life being less of a chore

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Depression diaries · Feel good

I will feel better 6 9 23

Phil Lister1 Comment

I could have done it

I probably should have

But all this is getting to me

You know how every single thing gets on top of you

Every single thing feels like a chore

When you just can’t see the point

I mean why the fuck?

Everything that I have done over the last 22 years of adulthood

Why?

Am I the bad person?

Am I the narcissist?

I know that I am to blame

I admit it

But god, life is punishing

We live to work and we work to live

That pension is not gonna pay itself and it’s not gonna go far

How do people afford cars, houses, even a god damn holiday when they have kids?

What do we have to give to them?

Why are we so scared of failing them?

Why are we so scared to make the same mistakes as our parents and we go ahead and do it anyway?

When we try so hard to be positive, for what? To feel better ?

When we need to speak to someone for help, why should we have to pay for it? It’s not help, it’s a fucking service.

Why do we feel we can’t talk and we can’t trust other people because no one will listen or care? And does it even matter?

I needed to write what I feel here. I needed to share. I feel I can talk to strangers, this is a safe place. These are my feelings.

I hurt, cry, bleed, suffer, scream and fart.

I am human

I am me

I am proud to be me

I will banish the negative

I will feel better

I will be better

You are welcome to join me

I want to heal

I need to heal

I will heal

I will stand up for myself

Phil 6 9 23

New work

I’m broken

Phil ListerLeave a comment

I’m broken

When them words leave my mouth I cry

To realise the fragile truth

Even when acting strong and wearing my mask

It is useless to hide it

Damaged interior

A vase that has been shattered into a thousand pieces and glued back together

The risk of breaking once more

Forever losing pieces

There is only so much glue

Sometimes the pieces won’t glue back

That once loved vase suddenly isn’t worth keeping anymore

So it gets replaced

Why keep a broken vase?

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https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJsXxuTf/

Feel good

Do it for you please

Phil Lister4 Comments

You know that you can let go

You know that you can cry

You don’t need to hold on

Or ask yourself why

You don’t need to blame yourself

For everything that passed

If you need to talk to someone

All you have to do is ask

There must be someone to talk to

It will make you feel at ease

For a guilty conscience

It can only appease

You are a beautiful person

You can get through this

Have faith in yourself

Do it for you please

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https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJsCroXL/