New work


Numb inside

Living with myself

Feeling constantly

On the shelf


I am difficult

To be around

To live with

Make others frown


It’s inside of me

Can’t explain it

I’ll just write

For now



Always and at once


To feel like before


Time has passed

Change too

I won’t

I know me


The sacred path

That we wonder

If it even



I’ll never get there

Nor do I want

All is fake

A myth


Hope is overrated

Live to die

Only waiting

Million questions why


We’ll just never know

Answers evading

Like the new



At least it’s better

Than suffering

Trying to work out

And explain


This horrid mess

We call a life

Make our mistakes

And ask. Why?

New work


Nervous, heart pumping

Appointment soon

Thoughts colliding

Impending doom


In the car

Radio loud

Having doubts

Wondering how


Receptionist scolding

Wrong room

Sorry miss

Face of doom


Hour waiting

To see the doc

Scrolling videos

On tiktok


Finally the moment

Take a breath

Approach the room

What will be next?

New work

Sure I won’t be missed

I hate money

It’s control over us

Can’t get enough of it

It causes such a fuss


Everything depends on it

Can’t get away

Always need more of it

At the end of every day


Debt comes to bite your ass

And it rips you a new hole

It tosses the windows out

Until the vacuum takes hold


There are always others

That are much worse off than me

But my biggest stress of all

It has its way with me


So much worry

So much stress

Sometimes wondering

What is this test


Cars always breaking down

Kids to pay for

Working for your job

Feeling like a whore


Now we have to live to work

To pay all the fucking bills

Eating all my insides out

Like a poisonous swill


What is next to save myself

To get away from this

Put a bullet through my skull

Sure I won’t be missed

New work

Suffering weep

So so young

In the bedroom alone

Dark dark feelings

In the family home


Penknife out

Grating the skin

Starting to cut now

Pushing within


Feeling the pain

Gritting the teeth

Seeing the blood

Feeling misbelief


Tears of rage

Flow from eyes

Hating everything

True despise


Hating life

To finally stop

Giving up

Had enough


Laying down

Looking up

Regretting now

The open cut


Old t shirt

Wrapped around

Foetal silence

Not a sound


Tired now

Suffering weep

Teary dreams

Fading to sleep

Searching for you

I never got to ask you

I never got to ask you

And now I never will

So many thoughts in my mind

Alone is how I feel


I cannot hit stop

My mind will not allow

If only you could hear me

My voice, somehow


What happens to our love

When we drift apart?

Where does it go

When we have to restart?


How much do we have to hurt

Before the pain subsides?

Does it hurt for them as well

How it hurts me inside?


Will it just pass away

Along with the time?

Will it just stay with me

One day to feel fine?


As lying to ourselves

To suppress the obvious truth

Seems easier to us

Than seeing the actual proof


And which of us is unbroken

Tattered in shadowed thoughts?

Now feeling enormous regret

Wishing that they had fought