You can only truly be at peace
When you stop searching for
What already exists at home
Loving them behind the door
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Everyone is welcome
You can only truly be at peace
When you stop searching for
What already exists at home
Loving them behind the door
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I have never seen the snow
Until this cold cold day
Fluttering gently
Through smeared windows
Oh so beautiful
Daddy putting on my gloves
Smiling to himself
What are you thinking?
Why do I need such a big coat?
Will it chill my hands?
He pulls down my warm pink beanie
And covers my ears
His words are muffled now
He kisses me on the bridge of my nose
Opening the door he ushers me out
Into the magical snowstorm
I am in awe
Such magic in the cool crisp air
Silence surrounding me
I look up and feel the flakes
Onto my nose
I open my mouth
I love snow
Please never stop
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Sometimes when we have had a really bad day
Its nice to get home, see your family and play
I like colouring with her, even though I’m colour blind
It doesn’t bother her, she really does not mind
Playing video games with my son, to see his joy
It makes me happy seing him smile, oh my boy
My favourite time at the moment is at night
Reading to my daughter, wonderful books, such a delight
It is the little things that help us through our days
We all have our methods, they are all the right ways
Love them as you can, give them a great big hug
Let them know your feelings, show them your love
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I finally spoke with a friendly voice
That knows my cousin well
Turns out he was in hospital
Before the covid spell
But this voice doesn’t know
Anymore than me
And I’m going to have to dig
If I want to be freed
Burdened by the unknown
Only holding on to hope
Time is my only option
Call it an escape rope
My next steps that I’ll make
May provide something
And stop adding to this book
Because I’m really missing him
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We have been confined
Unable to help
Searching for you
As you have no-one else
Finally I know
You have been taken ill
But your whereabouts unknown
A very bitter pill
I know now
That it will not be too long
I will find answers
And what has been going on
You will know you have someone
That cares about you
Because in this life
We do what we have to do
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I never thought that I would leave
I have always been confortable
The greater unknown never appealed
I preferred not to know
Not to venture
To search for a new life
To raise a child
Not knowing the language
Fear never really imposed
Until the final moment
As if a knife to my throat
With failure marked on the blade
Ready to pierce my skin
At any moment
With the burning fires behind my back
That would melt my skin
If I ever looked back
I would walk blindly
Into the unknown
Fear i would brush aside
I will not be burned
As I would not look back
I may bleed
As I lose my way
But I will not submit
Never
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You gave me my teddy
To sooth away my fears
You hugged me tight
To calm my tears
You took me to hospital
When I cut my face
You fixed my bike’s tyre
Punctured in a race
You left the light on
When I was scared of the dark
You took me to play football
How I loved the park
You consoled me
When I lost my job
You gave me money for the rent
That helped a lot
You was there for me
When I needed to talk
I remember our Sundays
On the canals, those walks
You had an accident
The first of a few
Several more came
Didn’t know what to do
You repeated yourself
All the same stories
I would listen each time
You would never bore me
You would have a stroke
And never be the same
How you reacted
Hope it would never be again
But behind the stroke
There was something else
A cancerous tumour
Eating at your health
I remember watching you
Hugging you so tight
Not wanting to let go
Seeing how you fight
All the treatments
Eating you alive
Thank god you had
Your caring wife
You had lost your weight
Your strong cuddly frame
Now just a shell of yourself
Not to be the same
Until the day they called
And you was taken in
Hospital again
It would all begin
Holding onto your hand
I would watch you sleep
Quietly beside you
I would weep
Talking to you
Wishing you would wake
Come back to us
I would take your place
As the machine starts to beep
And I watch you go
I will miss you forever
My father, my hero
Oh how I hate the cold
The bitter morning
Leaving the covers a sufferance
As I scoot to the bathroom
Stubbing my toe
Silently cursing to myself
As I close the door behind
I can see my breath
Taking off my cheap pyjamas
Exposing my naked skin
It must be below freezing
Turning the four pronged tap
Hoping to myself
The water piercing
As is flows off my fingertips
And I wait
Anticipating warmth
Almost begging for it
With both hands in a prayer
Please let me have warmth
I phoned my mother tonight
I’m glad I did
Call somebody that you love
A cold wet morning
Masked whispering
As I study the clouds
Rain tickles my face
As I take in the emotions
The bells begin to echo
And slowly they approach
Followed by loved ones
Emotions overpowering
Tears weeping
As brothers work together
Friends with reddened eyes
Children in silence
So brave, quietly crying
What must they be feeling?
So young to have lost
So unfair
So unjust