You were always honest

I cannot complain

Right from the start

The rules were the same

Wanting and wishing

For a little bit more

To feel closer

To warm my core

We started so well

It felt so good

I just don’t know

What I understood

The passion was so raw

Our appetites strong

Just the honeymoon period

Stringing us along

The text messages

Every single day

You were my friend

Keeping my demons at bay

I felt so close to you

That there was a spark

Me be foolish

Following my heart

The distance always comes knocking

The silence lasts a day

Before it was not possible

Just wasn’t our way

We became just partners

Good for an hour

The moment always great

The afterwards sour

I tell myself we need to talk

Even if I’ll be sad

Because lying to ourselves

Will just be as bad

You arrange for us to meet

Our first date in two months

I feel happy again

I didn’t know it was a front

I go to kiss you

You seem a little off

We sit down talking

In the shade to cool off

You wouldn’t let me take a photo

You’re so beautiful in your dress

I thought your actions were off

Something to get off your chest

It’s been a while

And you don’t see any sparks

I listen to you

Fidgeting with the grass

We both had similar thoughts

And this time it’s the end

I was losing you

And a friend

We sat in silence

As I rip up the grass

Listening to music

As people walk past

I decide to leave

As we walk to the car

I kiss you on the cheek

And say goodbye

I love this feeling

Wondering all over again

Could it be

Are you not just a friend?

I would never have thought

In a million years

I’d interest you

That you could ever be near

Nearly every thought

Is a dream of you

I laugh to myself

As I don’t know what to do

I am being patient

And giving you time

I’m wishing to the stars

One day you’ll be mine

Why does it concern you, what I do, who I see?

Why does it bother you, me saying I’m happy?

I don’t owe you anything, you use me when you want

We used to be friends, till I realised it was just a front

It was my fault before, our first ever mistake

You ignored me for months, you had such hate

Then out of the blue you’re back, as you would do so many times

Wish I knew this before, this was your time to shine

Am I am poet?

Do I wish to be heard?

Do I want to have a voice?

To sing like a bird

I just want to talk

To be related to

To read something in my words

To have a meaning true

Not just someone uttering nothings

Instantly forgot

Straight away to be burie

Just to matter not

To cry myself to sleep

With my thoughts incurring

Never left alone

My brain is always whirring

I know I tell it true

Alone like so many others

It’s really not a problem

Just being another

As I write again about the rain

I like how it makes me feel again

The coldness on my skin as it trickles down

It traces my face and across my frown

As I raise my hand to catch the drops

To gaze at the clouds and trace the plots

Darkness all around ever so near

No need to be frightened, no need for fear

The storm will pass, it always does

It never lasts long enough

I shudder now in my sodden state

It never was a mistake

I’ll do it again every time

It’s a choice that is mine

Why did you say it?

You rocked my world

I melted at that moment

You were my girl

I wasn’t sure before

But you made my feelings true

I knew at that moment

I had fell for you

And then the silence

I didn’t exist

It was as if

We had never kissed

It hurts so much

Letting you go

How did I lose you?

I guess I’ll never know

Why do you poison yourself?

I can’t even help

I just have to watch

You killing your health

I’m the best friend sometimes

I love you dude

Sometimes you don’t eat

You just forget food

And now I get

You’re no better than them

It makes me realise

You’re not really a friend

You use me when you want

To make yourself feel good

To numb whatever suffering

In any way you could

But yesterday really hurt

I thought long and hard

I doubt you’ll even remember

Your invisible scars

For every time

You put yourself first

Ahead of others

You are the worst

You don’t even realise

It’s never you

Totally oblivious

You have no clue

Smartest person

With a degree

Earn what you like

Never happy

I was proud of myself

For saying no

Even though we argued

And you had to go

Who are you?

To criticise me

My life choices

Are valid to me

Presented with what we don’t want

Makes us think about what we had

Impossible to go back to

Except in our mind

I miss so much how you made me feel

I am so grateful

To have felt loved again

If only temporary

Thank you

It’s funny looking at ourselves

Wondering why we are so lost

Why does it matter?

Who does it hurt?

That purpose we need

Why?

I like looking at other people

Going about their lives

Do they question the same things

I doubt it

My mind so concerned with others thoughts of me

They couldn’t give a flying dragons fuck

Get on with your life