I love hearing them laugh

It makes it a little easier

When life is just so meh

It gets me through the day

My obstacles are all made by my hands

My mind tells my mind you cannot

Why do we hit self destruct?

In a normal day I have to make everything impossible

But upon reflection and taking a step back to look through the fish bowl

I see it doesn’t matter

If I don’t have someone for the right reasons

Why should you force yourself?

Ideal is ideal

But it’s improbable

Life is too short for this

I’m gonna be imperfect

I’m better that way

Because imperfect is perfect

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It’s a strange feeling when everything slips between your hands

You question every decision taken wondering if it was ever the plan

Misreading signals it seems at every turn

As if the scorching rod was ever primed to burn

You go back to your past and think about your mistakes

Cursing yourself for every time you should forsake

Maybe it’s better, it has to be for a reason

Otherwise you have just committed treason

Being so hard on yourself with so much time to think

Is the worst thing you could want, pushing yourself to the brink

Even alcohol numbs it, but that’s only temporary

It’s not even a solution, just a stupid hail Mary

Take your mind off things, that one fucking thing

That’s feeding away on you like a terrible sin

Change, get help, do something, God

Breathe with your patience, that’s all that you’ve got

Numb that pain

Numb this shame

Never wanted

To lose the way

The light went out

Can’t hear the shouts

Eyes unopen

Wander astray

Chasm deep

To final sleep

Can finally rest

Escape the test

No will to go on

Same old song

Eerily deep

Enveloping sleep

Fade away

No more play

Whisper now

Final bow

I fall in love

Again and again

Not knowing what

I’m really feeling

A million love stories

In my head

Toying with me

When I’m in bed

Feeling alone

Feels so bland

Something meaningful

Sand through my hand

I don’t know what I want

I don’t dare try

All I did today

Was cry and cry

I’m not good alone

Just angry and bitter

My heart barely exists

Beat just a flitter

How can I move on?

When I root myself to the past

Do I even want to?

Scared it won’t last?

I can’t even make

That first courageous step

Scared of rejection

I would be left in a mess

So what should I do now?

Try to get some sleep

Figure it out tomorrow

For now I can only weep

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