Searching for you

I never got to ask you

I never got to ask you

And now I never will

So many thoughts in my mind

Alone is how I feel

.

I cannot hit stop

My mind will not allow

If only you could hear me

My voice, somehow

.

What happens to our love

When we drift apart?

Where does it go

When we have to restart?

.

How much do we have to hurt

Before the pain subsides?

Does it hurt for them as well

How it hurts me inside?

.

Will it just pass away

Along with the time?

Will it just stay with me

One day to feel fine?

.

As lying to ourselves

To suppress the obvious truth

Seems easier to us

Than seeing the actual proof

.

And which of us is unbroken

Tattered in shadowed thoughts?

Now feeling enormous regret

Wishing that they had fought

Searching for you

Fill my void

Do I deserve someone to fill my void?


Forever looking but feel destroyed


Tarnished by myself, my self-belief


That longing too much, just no relief


I am not a catch, I’m ugly and fat


No one could want me, it’s a fact


Dated for years to find just one


That perfect person, special someone


I don’t want a fling, nothing less


I’m not interested in emptyness

My bed is empty as I long so much


To feel close to someone, just to touch


To whisper sweet nothings all through the day


I don’t think it’s for me I am afraid


To feel loved and wanted, all that I ask


Maybe I am dreaming? I’m having a laugh?


Please one day, let me meet my match?


I’m sure they’ll be great, a real catch

Ella's first day at school

Ella’s first day at school (New Book)

As Ella woke up

In her lovely bedroom

She sat herself up

And felt the gloom

She was sad this day

The first day at school

Worrying to herself

“What should I do ?”

She dressed herself

In her favourite dress

She combed her hair

From its blonde mess

Down the stairs for breakfast

With mum and dad

Yawning loud

And feeling sad

“What’s wrong Ella?”

“Why are you sad?”

Looking concerned

Spoke softly her dad

“I don’t want to go”

“It scares me so much”

“I won’t know anyone”

“I’m so fed up”

“Ella my sweet”

“You’ll be ok”

“I’ll come with you”

“At the start of your day”

In the car

Driving along

Mum changes the radio

To Ella’s favourite song

Singing together

At the top of their lungs

Making it better

Having such fun

Arriving at class

The very first time

Seeing the teacher

As the bell starts to chime

“What’s your name?”

“Its Ella miss”

She looked at her mum

And gave her a kiss

She held her hand

Still a little scared

Not letting go

Still so aware

She looked around the class

Seeing everyone play

It seemed quite cool

What would she do today?

“It’s ok mum”

“I’ll be ok”

“I love you so much”

“Have a great day”

Searching for you

So happy you’re back

I’m so happy that you’re back

Your absence was long

I was like a shoe

With the laces undone

Walking around

Waiting to be re-tied

Back to normal

Change despised

Now in my arms

I need it more than you

My insecurities laid bare

I need a hug from you

I feel so much better

Knowing that you’re there

Oh how I missed you

With your golden blonde hair

.

Taken from my latest book searching for you