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Feeling whole again

Upon kissing your lips you made me feel whole again

Just talking to me feeling as if you’re a friend

To feel good in myself to appreciate life once more

To feel wanted, not just nothing for ever more

To look into your eyes appreciating you there

To run my fingers through your long hair

To clasp your face with my fingers and thumb

To melt in your regard to go all numb

To glide my fingers over your palm

To trace your freckles feeling so calm

To count each time our lips touch for every kiss

To float as if in heaven in a cloud of bliss

To our final goodbye missing one thing

Holding you in my arms till the birds sing

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I sit alone on this chair

I sit alone on this chair

Do you see me, do you see me?

I sit alone on this chair

Do you hear me, do you hear me?

Do I exist in real life?

Does my suffering count?

Do I exist in real life?

Can you hear me shout?

Why do you just walk by?

Why do you let me cry?

Why do you not care?

Why do you just stare?

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Imperfect is perfect

I love hearing them laugh

It makes it a little easier

When life is just so meh

It gets me through the day

My obstacles are all made by my hands

My mind tells my mind you cannot

Why do we hit self destruct?

In a normal day I have to make everything impossible

But upon reflection and taking a step back to look through the fish bowl

I see it doesn’t matter

If I don’t have someone for the right reasons

Why should you force yourself?

Ideal is ideal

But it’s improbable

Life is too short for this

I’m gonna be imperfect

I’m better that way

Because imperfect is perfect

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Breathe with your patience

It’s a strange feeling when everything slips between your hands

You question every decision taken wondering if it was ever the plan

Misreading signals it seems at every turn

As if the scorching rod was ever primed to burn

You go back to your past and think about your mistakes

Cursing yourself for every time you should forsake

Maybe it’s better, it has to be for a reason

Otherwise you have just committed treason

Being so hard on yourself with so much time to think

Is the worst thing you could want, pushing yourself to the brink

Even alcohol numbs it, but that’s only temporary

It’s not even a solution, just a stupid hail Mary

Take your mind off things, that one fucking thing

That’s feeding away on you like a terrible sin

Change, get help, do something, God

Breathe with your patience, that’s all that you’ve got

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Final bow

Numb that pain

Numb this shame

Never wanted

To lose the way

The light went out

Can’t hear the shouts

Eyes unopen

Wander astray

Chasm deep

To final sleep

Can finally rest

Escape the test

No will to go on

Same old song

Eerily deep

Enveloping sleep

Fade away

No more play

Whisper now

Final bow

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Perfect love

I can’t be with you today

But I think about you all the time

I wish I could be with you

Recite words that rhyme

.

To look into your eyes

Lose myself within

Feel so warm inside

As you let me in

.

To whisper in your ear

Words that make you melt

I will give you all my love

Love you never felt

.

I just want to protect you

Hold you in my arms

To smell your golden hair

Forever in your charm

.

When I finally have you

I will never let you go

When you have perfect love

That is all you should know

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Much better a new one

Why is he better?

Better than me?

What has he got?

That makes you happy?

I can’t understand

Is it his youth?

Am I just getting

Too old I’m the tooth

Am I just ugly

So unappealing and plain

Do my jokes

Drive you insane?

We smile so much

But we never touch

Him smiling at you

Just boils my blood

But you’re not mine

I keep telling myself

As I put myself

Back on the shelf

To gather more dust

Onlookers fade away

I’m less attractive now

Less fun to play

Who likes damaged books?

Hard to always repair

Much better a new one

Much less despair

.

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I know it’s not love

I know it’s not love

But I loved you

I loved you unconditionally

I loved every single thing about you

.

I loved your eyes

I loved your smile

I loved your spirit

I loved your soul

.

You had my heart the first moment our gazes met

You had my smile every morning we crossed paths

You had my spirit just being in your presence

You had my soul the first moment we talked

.

Now I wipe tears from my eyes

Now I love you but I don’t

Now I just want to sleep

Now I don’t want to be here anymore

.

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For now I can only weep

I fall in love

Again and again

Not knowing what

I’m really feeling

A million love stories

In my head

Toying with me

When I’m in bed

Feeling alone

Feels so bland

Something meaningful

Sand through my hand

I don’t know what I want

I don’t dare try

All I did today

Was cry and cry

I’m not good alone

Just angry and bitter

My heart barely exists

Beat just a flitter

How can I move on?

When I root myself to the past

Do I even want to?

Scared it won’t last?

I can’t even make

That first courageous step

Scared of rejection

I would be left in a mess

So what should I do now?

Try to get some sleep

Figure it out tomorrow

For now I can only weep

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