The immigrant

3. Lemon blossom

I loved to get up before the sunrise

To hear the prayers echoing in the sky

To arrive feeling the sun kissing my skin

That familiar noise coming from within

Being away from them was the hardest thing

My love for caring and what it brings

To look after them, all the hive

Broke my heart, when I was deprived

How I would watch the workers travel so far

Foraging lemon blossoms for their sweet nectar

I would nurture them, look after their health

For me it was them, there was nothing else

I loved to harvest, to collect the golden dew

Scraping carefully, that soft silky residue

Their job was to feed us, to pollinate the land

I would look after them with nothing but my hands

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depression · family · Life · love · New work

I’m eager to have you back

I realised life is difficult

Without you around

I can’t even concentrate

My mind is up and down

Pulling myself out of bed

Think to have a wash

My brain is not working yet

It is just a mush

I’m making silly errors

Its affecting my job

Just to get to the end of the day

That requires a lot

I need to have our routine

To keep my mind on track

I can’t wait to see you again

I’m eager to have you back

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depression · Life

Just because I don’t talk about it

Just because I don’t talk about it

Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt

Hidden in the depths of me

Always getting worse

It is I who chooses to fight this way

Against my demons inside

If I choose to lock them away

Then my rules, they will abide

Even though they claw at me

To open to them the door

It is me that will keep them captive

Not them, not anymore.

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The immigrant

2. If I could paint you a picture

If I could paint you a picture

Of the world outside

Smudging all the bitterness

Hoping it would subside

It’s so hard when I lie to you

Having to describe

Covering all the chaos

By telling you my lies

Even if it’s to protect you

To hide the truth from you

I don’t want you to worry

I do the best I can do

Thinking of the day

That everything changed

What normal must look like

How it must be strange?

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The immigrant

1. Am I good enough

I can’t look into her eyes for shame

Although she cannot see my pain

My beautiful wife sitting there

Can’t help herself, she can only stare

Playing with our sons car in her hand

He used to play with it, in the sand

She used to laugh, I remember how

That has all changed, this is now!

“Dear I am in pain, behind my eyes”

I bow to look, I don’t know why?

“When can I see a doctor?” she pleads

“When we get some papers” I conceed

As I look out the curtain and ask myself why

Unresponsive as I stare at the sky

Sometimes I am glad that she cannot see

But what does that say about selfish old me

What would be her reaction? Would she still love?

Her pathetic husband, am I good enough?

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love · New work

Will I send the letter?

My words on paper, my heart my soul

I give you my heart, torn out whole

Every word written, with all my love

Each one spaced even, just enough

The care I take, to present fine art

Hoping it’s enough, to win your heart

If I had the courage to send this letter

Fear of rejection, gets the better

Will I dare to send it? your surprise

Read my wishes, only for your eyes

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Life · love · New work

Finding my soul mate

Light years I have been searching

This dark empty void

Searching for someone to be with me

And not to be destroyed

For all the black holes

The asteroids so fast

My hope forever fading

Willing it to last

I will forever search for you

If that is what it takes

I will never give up on

Finding my soul mate

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depression · Life · love · New work

Saying goodbye without a kiss

Your words to me I will never forget

They left a scar, an instant regret

A tsunami of tears left my eyes

Couldn’t understand why you despise

What did I do to deserve this pain?

Why did our relation have to strain?

The biggest hurt in all of this

Saying goodbye without a kiss

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depression · family · Life · New work

I leave the home to walk a bit

I leave the home to walk a bit

To digest the day and breathe

All the heavyness that I feel

I need to be upheaved

A moment with the nature

For an hour or two

Until it gets dark

Or I haven’t got a clue

I need to empty myself

To push it all out

Release the negativity

The nuclear fallout

Oh that feels so much better

My time all alone

Think it’s time to go back now

To my family, my home

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