funny · New work

Stupid test

Oh I love to wear a mask

Oh I love to feel so daft

Feeling muzzled just like a dog

Glasses steaming with stupid fog

Now I’m waiting in my line

Like a sheep just stuck behind

Hey stand back! You’re in my space

Can’t you see my I don’t care face

I’m poking my tongue out, just for you

Oh darn it, did you see it, sorry, oops

Don’t hit me, I apologise mate

Can’t you see it was just a mistake

God we’re going crazy, what a bloody mess

It’s the new road rage, everyone’s upset

Can’t take a joke. Sticking things up the nose

I think about funny things, cheesy smelly toes

Now that passes better, that second of pain

Stupid medical test, Like it’s a game

It didn’t really hurt, that tear in my eye

Just a bit of dust caught me by surprise

Until the next time, sure I’ll see you again

It wasn’t that bad, even if there is no end

Latest book Searching for you by Philip Lister

funny · Life

That hotel will never be forgot

I remember that hotel

Never seen as bad as that

Shocked when I opened the door

Gave me a heart attack


The bed was disgusting

Made me want to heave

Dirty with stains on it

I just wanted to leave


The air con was a death trap

Cables black and bare

Surely if I touched them

I would shock all my hair


The bathroom don’t get me started

The shower covered in mould

The filthy escape vent

200 years old


I don’t know how I slept

That night I was so stressed

My shadow danced with the shadows

My soul so scared it left


The morning I went for breakfast

Biscotte was all I got

Included in the price

That hotel will never be forgot


Searching for you is a collection of poetry about love, heartbreak and happiness. A raw journey looking at our search in life to find ourselves and that special someone.

fantasy · funny · New work


I have a fidoodle

Whatever that is

Is it a poodle

Or is it a fish

Midnight laughed so

From this doodle bug

Can’t stop herself

Can’t get enough

What do you say

To the god of fidoodle

Do you wanna fight

Or a spicy pot noodle

Can you pick it

Like you pick your nose

It’s a fidoodle

No one knows

Pick up my book Rhyming poetry to change your day – available here

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