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I don’t even have to exist

I’m thinking

Quietly

Wondering in my mind

I’m enjoying the darkness

The silence

It’s almost ecstatic

Perfection as my body floats

As if the goal can be reached

My eyes are closed

But I know where I’m going

My senses heightened

I can feel my breathing

My chest expanding

I hear the inhalation

It’s mesmerising

I don’t have to worry

I don’t even have to exist

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family · happy · Life · love

Face of change

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​Wake up, feel different, I feel sick

Run to bathroom, vomit every bit

Rise to the mirror, wash my face

What the hell, what’s this face!

My hair, my eyes I fall down

I get back up, what is this frown?

I’ve got muscles, je suis beau

I’m taller with a bronzed glow

My insecurities, my patheticness

They are gone, have I been blessed?

I run out the room onto the landing

My mum’s at the top of the stairs standing

” Mum mum look at me, look at my face”

She can’t hear me, what is this place?

I put my hand on her, turn around please

“turn up the heating darling, I felt a breeze”

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Phil lister 02/10/17

listerspoetry@gmail.com