Why did you say it?

You rocked my world

I melted at that moment

You were my girl

I wasn’t sure before

But you made my feelings true

I knew at that moment

I had fell for you

And then the silence

I didn’t exist

It was as if

We had never kissed

It hurts so much

Letting you go

How did I lose you?

I guess I’ll never know

Why do you poison yourself?

I can’t even help

I just have to watch

You killing your health

I’m the best friend sometimes

I love you dude

Sometimes you don’t eat

You just forget food

And now I get

You’re no better than them

It makes me realise

You’re not really a friend

You use me when you want

To make yourself feel good

To numb whatever suffering

In any way you could

But yesterday really hurt

I thought long and hard

I doubt you’ll even remember

Your invisible scars

For every time

You put yourself first

Ahead of others

You are the worst

You don’t even realise

It’s never you

Totally oblivious

You have no clue

Smartest person

With a degree

Earn what you like

Never happy

I was proud of myself

For saying no

Even though we argued

And you had to go

Who are you?

To criticise me

My life choices

Are valid to me

Presented with what we don’t want

Makes us think about what we had

Impossible to go back to

Except in our mind

I miss so much how you made me feel

I am so grateful

To have felt loved again

If only temporary

Thank you

It’s funny looking at ourselves

Wondering why we are so lost

Why does it matter?

Who does it hurt?

That purpose we need

Why?

I like looking at other people

Going about their lives

Do they question the same things

I doubt it

My mind so concerned with others thoughts of me

They couldn’t give a flying dragons fuck

Get on with your life

Is it me?

Probably

Do I need to change?

Probably

Will I change?

Nope

Yeah so I did wrong

So what

I’m not perfect

Lost the plot

I have good days

Occasionally

Not always bad

Doesn’t always have to be

What’s a negative?

It’s whatever we think

Don’t go crazy

Push yourself to the brink

We’re not young forever

So fucking what

Live your life for you

That’s all we’ve got

When we do everything we can possibly do and nothing is ever good enough.

Why do we continue giving it our all when things do not change?

Is giving up an option?

The next day is always slightly better than the day before, at least the debut.

When we exhale loudly it gives better emphasis.

Why is letting down others worse than letting ourselves down?

Why won’t the crickets shut the fuck up

Empty

Drained

Rejected

Sad

Angry

Disappointed

Questioning

Bitter

Reminiscing

Hating

Loving

Resentment

Gratitude

Emotional

Dejected

Lethargic

Suicidal

Appreciative

If I wasn’t living

I wouldn’t be feeling

The breath has gone

The spring too

Even looking at flowers

Just won’t do

The absence raw

Of what once was

Now with certain words

Left with just.. because

It was nice to love again

Even though short and sweet

The sweetest sugars

Have become bitter sweet

Embrace the life

To not rest glum

Not worry about

Finding someone

The time I spent

Feeling sorry for myself

Just moping around

Resting on the shelf

Watching myself

From just behind

Wondering how

To get out of this bind

It’s been months now

Maybe even years

I’ve been crying to myself

Inside tears

Still not knowing

The answers

Not even knowing

The questions

How can we start?

If we can’t even finish

My attempt

A pointless gibberish

Pathetic little me

In a cold hard space

I pity you

And your sorry face