depression · family · Life · managing depression · New work

The thing about solitude is

The thing about solitude is

You can’t have enough

Even when you bathe in it

You’ve not had your drug

You want to be alone

Throughout all the day

You won’t go outside

Come what may

You don’t want to see friends

No not at all

Take the dog for a walk

Not your ball

You would rather stay inside

Drink and watch tv

For in our little head

It’s, well, to be free

.

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depression · Life · New work

I was now in my hell

Today I crave silence

To be with no noise

Escape the daily grind

Feeling like a toy

It’s nagging behind me

Slumping my shoulders

No power to fight it

My will like boulders

Showing its big white teeth

Take another bite

My soul laid bare waiting

No energy to fight

Devoured by darkness

Sadly for my heart

I was now in my hell

This was just the start

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depression · Life · managing depression

I want to fit in

.

I want to fit in but I am different from the rest

I want to be bigger but cannot help myself

I want to be beautiful but uglyness shines its evil light

I want to eat but just a little is too much

I want to be normal but I cannot help myself

I want to stop being sick but I can’t stop myself

How could anyone ever love my body when I can’t even love myself?

To look upon the mirror is to cry a river of tears at the person staring back

How can you understand when I am perplexed and confused?

How can you judge when I have been beat and abused?

I am tired from it all, I just want to be alone

The only person I trust is the person I hate

.

My first poetry available for purchase.

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depression · Life · New work

Rest in peace

.

I feel so trapped in all that I do

6 feet under, no way through

I see the light, through the cracks

Other than that, it’s pitch black

I can’t breathe, no air left

When will I take, my last breath?

I claw with my fingers blunt till the end

Searching for help, in need of a friend

This coffin won’t open, closed from outside

Waves are crashing, soil subsides

Deeper my box falls, hurtling away

I will rest in peace, better that way

.

My first poetry available for purchase.

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depression · family · Life · New work

Self doubt

Why do we seek acceptance in everything we do?

Sometimes I wonder if we even have a clue

We go from day to day just getting by

Living out our day throughout our own lies

Sometimes we reflect, a little too much

Sometimes we don’t, how much is enough?

Is it really acceptance that we seek?

Is it really self doubt that creeps?

But our biggest fear in all of this

The worst fact, that mustn’t be missed

We fear rejection above all else

It hits us hard, our mental health

Until we can’t go on, it eats us alive

Because with self doubt, we can never thrive

.

My first poetry available for purchase.

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depression · Life · managing depression

This clouded feeling

I can’t put my finger on it

Why I feel so down

This clouded feeling

That’s hanging around

I feel almost sick

But I don’t know why

I haven’t even got

Any appetite

I can’t control my emotions

So angry in my heart

Can’t pull it from me

I don’t know which path

How can I escape

From this torturous hell?

Is there an escape?

Is it a closed shell?

Its vice like grip

Constantly on me

Oh how I wish

I could be free

To breathe deeply

Clean virgin air

To stop suffocating

To fight the despair

Does happiness exist?

Will I feel it one day?

Or am I in hell hotel

Destined to stay?

.

My first poetry available for purchase.

https://books2read.com/u/4AYydq

depression · Life · managing depression

It all started when…

This is

My once upon a time

When the suffering commenced

And I began to rhyme

Family problems

With mum and dad

They were separated

I never liked that

As I was scared

Scarred in my heart

As a lost soul

Where to start?

Easy to cry

Never understood

Impossible to help

As if you could?

My shell protecting

From the outside

Impossible to open

This was my life

I would curl in a ball

To be alone

I hated myself

This was my home

Quiet at school

Colorblind too

Difficult to make friends

Oh so true

I would hurt myself

To inflict pain

Scratching my arms

What did it gain?

Burning myself

To suffer some more

Days dragged by

Like a chore

I wished to punish

To harm myself

Through all the torment

The mental health

Anger so dark

Eating away

Hard to push out

To keep at bay

Although crying out

Silently so

I needed help

For it to go

If someone was there

To listen, just that

It would of helped

A selfless act

.

My first poetry available for purchase.

https://books2read.com/u/4AYydq

depression · Life · New work

Ups and downs

I don’t understand

Why my emotions are so strong

Like being prodded with a stick

What is going on?

One moment I am up

I am ok with the day

I don’t need it to end

I do not feel afraid

But then there are the downs

And they really mess me up

Looking always for the escape

Cause I want it so much

I try to control my emotions

To get on top of them

But sometimes they’re stronger than me

It drives me round the bend

Why is it so hard?

To get along with life

We always just seem to cope

Trying not to subside

.

My first poetry available for purchase.

https://books2read.com/u/4AYydq

depression · Life · New work · Rhyming poetry to change your day

The roses wilting

The roses wilting

Over the side of the glass

Sensed they had given up

Could not forever last

My sickening feeling

Inside of me

Sadness seeping out

Wanting to be freed

They look so tired

As if it’s the end

Flowers to one side

No way to mend

As I gaze down

Studying the floor

A tear leaves my eye

I can’t do this anymore

Grabbing the stalks

Piercing my hand

Throwing with force

Don’t care where they land

As I collapse to the floor

Feeling sorry for myself

I have given up

I need to find help

.

My first poetry available for purchase.

https://books2read.com/u/4AYydq