You said you would be here

Down by the water

As the sun rose

And we would be in each others arms

.

But you’re not here

As you promised

What’s going on?

Why did you lie?

.

I sit by the water

As if my tears had filled the lake

And all I can think

Is why did I make this mistake?

.

I trusted you

That you would be mine

I gave myself

I was your shrine

.

I left everything

And now I am here alone

I don’t even have a place

To call my home

.

Where are you?

Please find me

I can’t be by myself

Without you there is no me

Oh how I despise

The frightfully cold delight

The wind is curling my toes

And blowing me to and fro

.

I can’t stand it anymore

I just want it to thaw

Just go away, pesky snow

On your way, begone, go

.

I’m freezing all the way to my bones

So cold, even in my home

Even this cup of tea

Is doing nothing for me

.

Rain rain and rain again

Floods ahoy, when will it end?

The bridges are closed

There’s rain to my toes

.

Breathe…… Breathe

It’s not forever

It will pass

Never say never

.

And where are the flowers?

In my wanting voice

Where are you hiding?

When can I rejoice?

.

It’s nearly here

Almost out of the woods

The forest flooded too

If only it could

.

Watching the raindrops

Trickle the window

Tracing with my finger

To and fro

.

Till that first day of warmth

Feel that sun on your skin

Oh how it feels good

Feeling the warmth within

I have found you

After all this time

Perfect for me

Finally mine

.

But doubt is sewed

That little seed

Starting to grow

Like a fucking weed

.

Why do you torment me?

I never asked

Why do you follow me?

Shine on my past

.

I’m happy now

But am I?

What do you want?

How can I know?

.

A million questions

Buzzing around

Building its nest

Deeply profound

.

I don’t know how to deal

How to even try

I have lost the skills

My will is dry

.

Will the droplet fall?

Off of the edge

Will the puddle form?

Will the thoughts pledge?

.

Will the puddle become a river ?

That my boat will sink

Or will I reach the side ?

Climb to the brink

.

I feel I would float off to the sea

There my thoughts can die

As for what to do now

I can’t even answer why

I never thought sleeping in your arms

Would feel so good

I can’t remember the last time

I was with someone

You light me up with your smile

Your eyes magically enticing me

If this feeling was a drug

I want to stay forever dependent

There can be no consequences

Euphoric pleasure filling my blood

Inject me in my veins

And never let the supply end

Closing my eyes watching the stars

In the darkness

Forever in your warmth

Enveloping me

Crawl inside me

And let us be one

It’s been so long

Can I love again?

To share myself

To have a friend?

.

My innermost thoughts

I cannot lay bare

What will you think?

I am scared

.

I think of you daily

Often on my mind

Even when

I’m trying to unwind

.

I don’t hold it against you

I really quite like it

To feel young again

Free myself a bit

.

I love your smile

Looking in your eyes

Losing myself to you

Time passing by

.

Just so easy

I hope I can trust

See what happens

I need to, I must

It’s funny

I’m in love with you

But I can’t have you

.

I know you know

I know you care

But you can’t show

.

Your words

I hold dear

Even when they hurt

.

Only speaking the truth

Telling me

What I already know

.

It’s hard to move forward

When the fear

Holds me back

.

I’ll never force you

We have our paths

Whichever we choose

.

One day they may meet

And just maybe

We will be together

I’m ok with being alone

I don’t need someone to make my home

I like the peace when I wake up

I like not having to give a fuck

There are no pressures just work and stuff

Just getting dressed the morning, that’s enough

Just laze the day when getting on with things

Don’t worry too much about what’s happening

The day will happen and time will pass

Think about the future, forget the past

Oh so near

Oh so far

You mark my heart

And leave your scar

.

I may never know

If you’ll be mine

In the morning

I’ll be fine

.

Tomorrow is always

Another day

Life goes on

Loneliness at bay

.

I know what you desire

And it isn’t me

Least not this moment

Not meant to be

.

I still hold hope

Maybe in time

One day in the future

You’ll be mine

.

If I have to show

What you mean to me

I’ll give my heart

If it will make you happy