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Morning blues

So they call it morning blues

And it’s viscious too

Invading your mind

Seeping into

All the cracks

The crevices fine

Through the veins

Intertwined

How it weeps

Into the blood

Causing dismay

Abysmal drug

Face lay bare

For all to see

Go on look

This misery

As it lasts so long

All through the day

Toying with the mind

It’s way to play

Delve far within

Peeling back the skin

Controlling emotions

It should be a sin

As the tears fall

Unable to hold back

Seeking answers

For all the cracks

Tear yourself down

Build the bricks back

Pull it together

Morning blues attack

depression · Depression diaries · New work

Why is depression so overwhelming?

Why is depression so overwhelming?

It seems as if fighting it is useless but I don’t even know why it is there.

I didn’t go to bed with it but it lays with my head on the pillow and when I look at myself brushing my teeth.

The car journey to work automatic as my brain tells me stories of what I can do as it holds me captive as I cannot switch off.

It is so heavy, piggy backing me while I get my coffee and sit down at my desk.

Thank god I have my job to push these thoughts away.

Get off my back!

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Sadness

What is this feeling

Why does it tiptoe into my mind every night

On the pillow cushioning my head

As the gravity pulls me in

Conscience becomes so apparent

As if to say I’m here

Like that one night stand you regret

When your bed is smaller

Pushing against you

Spooning you

No is not a response

You have to accept it

Sadness won’t leave you alone

Sadness is home

It is here to stay

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My beautiful dahlia

My beautiful dahlia

My beautiful dahlia

How I have longed to see you

Your vibrant red

Pulsing through

How I wait patiently

For you to bloom

As you take your sunlight

Through and through

Only a couple more days

As you make your final burst

Dahlia of springtime

To see the very first

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Be free

Please forgive me

My judgement

My actions

Darkness weighs me down

As my conscience suffocates my every breath

As the bird tries to escape

From where it was once happy

Pecking it’s limbs

Freedom given up

But at what cost

Self esteem worth nothing

As if water leaving the drain

The heavy rain showering the shame

As bliss never was

Tears of wanting

Acceptance

Love

Why search for something

That seems to be a myth

Maybe just an idea

In the ideal world

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Get on that swing

If you come down to the woods today

You are gonna die

If you get on that swing today

You’re gonna have a surprise

Us ghouls and ghosts

Are having a toast

Torture and torment

We love the most

So come with us

Don’t be a puss

And dare

To be afraid

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Prompt photo Stephanie koidl

My latest love poetry book can be found here.