depression · Life · New work

Help…

I have never felt so alone

When surrounded by many

I have never felt so imprisoned

Even though I am free to go

I have never felt so hopeless

Even when I can choose

I have never felt so lost

Even though I know the way

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My tears I cannot cry

My thoughts I cannot lie

My angst I cannot suppress

Even though I try

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Trapped doing the same each day

The same old daily grind

Gaping hole inside of me

The bottom you won’t find.

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I have never felt like escaping

As much as I do now

To end it all as a coward

The only way I know how

depression · family · Life

Cry for help

I want to give everything

Take all I have, make it sting

Open me up read me like a book

Analyze me, take a thorough look

Cut me deep to make the crimson flood

Stem the bleeding it’s too much

Dont like what you hear, what you see

I’m just so messed up, sorry I am me!

Smear it all over, smile ear to ear

Chuckle devilishly, taunt and cheer

Having second thoughts, too late now

Such a coward, you don’t know how

Cry like a mess, feel sorry for yourself

What’s the matter, you been left on the shelf?

Take deep breaths can’t be long now

Escape from your hell, take a bow

Sorry call for help cause you call for no one

Of course not, otherwise where would be the fun?

In your twisted little mind fragile as it is

You think about yourself trying to do the biz

Think about the others all around you

What the hell are they going do do?

Do they deserve to lose you, really, no one cares?

Think about it beforehand instead of giving scares

Talk to someone, you must share, don’t be alone

For God sakes pick up the god damn phone!

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Phil lister 02/01/18

listerspoetry@gmail.com

depression · Life

Is this goodbye?

I’m going to do it, I’ve had enough
This life for me has no fucking love

I have no fear, I defy all in my darkest time

I’m downing this bottle, all this wine

I need it as I don’t want to feel the pain

When I’m going to cut up all my vein

I’m going to bleed, to end my life

To exit this devastation, the hassle, the strife

I deserve it, to suffer, for what I will leave

My family, all the others, what will they believe?

By finding me here, in a puddle of my blood

As my body will piss blood like a crimson flood

What will they do, what will they say?

Will they forgive me, will they pray?

I’m weak, I’m desperate, but this is my ultimate plan

It is me who will hold my life in my hands

What will it be like when I start to cut?

Will my tears flow, will I have the guts?

Can I cut deep, explode an artery?

What am I doing, am I worried?

I’m so selfish, taking the easy root out if I dare

Not worried about my friend, the only person who really cares

She’s so special, she matters so much

I imagine for her this is going to suck

Forced to listen, to accept how I feel, 

All my cries for help, how does she feel?

Sorry to my family for not being the timid girl you want

I’m the strong feminist, will you miss me when I’m gone?

You always judged me for being me

Why did you never want me to be happy?

I hate myself for being an attention seeker wanting to die

It’s going to happen now, will I do it, is this goodbye?

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A poem about the life of one of my readers. A massive thank you to you. If anyone else has a life experience that they would like me to write a poem about please email me.

I appreciate every one of my readers and I thank you for any contributions in comments, likes, follows and especially emails for taking the time to share with me your life stories that you wish me to write about.

If you feel I deserve a share please do not hesitate, I just wish to write to give you pleasure.

Stay positive.

​.

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Phil lister 03/10/17

listerspoetry@gmail.com

Current affairs · depression · happy · Life · love

Pity life goes on

I’ve had it hard in life, I remember it well

Sixteen and I moved out, from hell to….hell!

I had experience me, under my belt

Making ends meet, god that shit smelt!

I was young, eighteen living with my bloke

Living at his parents so we weren’t broke

We were trying to buy some land, we busted our ass

200 miles, 3 days a week, Alaska’s fucking class!

Then my guy got a job close, awesome news

His parents loved me, god it was so cool

Things going well, so bloody great

My guy comes home, a lot on his plate

He sits down, I jump on his lap and try to kiss him

He pushes me off, to the floor like I sinned?

“What did I do, what’s wrong with you?”

“Get out, leave, I had enough of you!”

“No please, I love you, stay with me”

“Get the fuck out! It’s not to be!”

I left, stormed out, cried all night long

Got wasted somewhere before getting home

I go to our bed to get in next to my man

Not happening girl, you been banned

The prick left the morning, left me like that

The coward got his mum to toss me out, the twat!

I had nothing, no money, just my car

So I drove for a while and stopped at a bar

I slept at the beach, wasted that night

Wasters walking by gave me a fright

Tequila, smoking weed, partying when I didn’t work

My heart broken, in pieces from that poxy jerk!

I wanted to die, kill myself, drive into a wall

I couldn’t cope with life, not at all

So I smoked a million cigarettes, I drank and I got high

I did some bad things and I told lots of lies

I ended up at my sister’s place, she let me stay

I continued to party hard and I slept where I laid

Until one day my sister kicked me awake

Get up girl, get a grip for fucks sake

She told me to scrub up, stop feeling sorry for yourself

So I listened to her and I spruced up myself

She took me to a job interview, I got through

Within a week I got a second job too

I got my life back on the road and everything changed

Thanks to my sister for being there and helping my pain.

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A poem about the life of one of my readers. A massive thank you to you. If anyone else has a life experience that they would like me to write a poem about please email me.

I appreciate every one of my readers and I thank you for any contributions in comments, likes, follows and especially emails for taking the time to share with me your life stories that you wish me to write about.

If you feel I deserve a share please do not hesitate, I just wish to write to give you pleasure.

Stay positive.

​.

Share my poem and like my page on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/Listerslyrics-208518599682211/

.
Phil lister 03/10/17

listerspoetry@gmail.com