Everyone is welcome
I feel like crying
I don’t know why
The tears just flow
Down from my eyes
I feel so heavy
Morale on the floor
Up and down
Like a rotating door
Why this feeling?
This constant down
What is wrong now?
Why the constant frown?
I can’t even put my hand on it
Even if I wanted too
It’s everything
And this will just not do
All the funny videos
All the cuddly cats
Just isn’t picking me up
What’s up with that?
.
How nice would it be?
To have somewhere to go
To think
To breathe
.
No kids
No partner
Just you
And your thoughts
.
I think
Even then
It would still
Piss me off
I love the sun on my face
It’s all I need to brighten my day
To make the problems leave
They don’t seem so big now
As I sit on the terrace leaning back
Just wishing for life to show me
What I should do next?
I shouldn’t care about the next problem
Just enjoy the moment
As the wind whistles in my ear
As I watch the busy birds
Hurriedly building their nests
The cat watching from under the table
Waiting for it’s moment
It must be nice to be a cat
Daydreaming all day long
Preying on innocent little things
Food prepared for you
Eat sleep repeat
A warm bed, a cuddle when needed
Space when you want
I’d like to be a cat
Save your tears for someone who cares
This life we live, the wounds it bares
It slices our flesh to the state of no repair
Our social capacity as people stare
We are but an exhibit for others to watch
As they judge and point and laugh a lot
We are not what we should be in their eyes
Was it really such a surprise?
As we hurt ourselves, our heart and soul
Just fitting in, paying with our souls
Breathing the gasses of poisonous lies
From politicians with money in their eyes
They feed the rich and fuck the poor
Then hold their hands out and ask for more
And what do you get from all of this ?
Can’t even afford heating, something’s amiss
We work to live and to pay our debts
Until we’re old, finished and inept
To pay for our lives to make the world go round
Sorry, are you talking, I didn’t hear a sound
I used to look for love
Craved it more than anything
But now I’m so lost on my path
Fighting myself within
Where did I wander?
Falling to the abyss
Why were my choices so wrong?
What was so amiss?
What is wrong with me now?
Why does it fall apart?
Such pity and self doubt
Pumping through my heart
I just question everything I do
As if every decision was wrong
How can you still be with me?
Even though you’re gone?
How does it control me?
Why can I not leave it alone?
What is this pull over me?
When I take my phone
.
Every waking hour
Glued eyes to the screen
I cannot stop myself
Cannot keep myself clean
.
How can this be an addiction?
As bad as a drug
Why do I want it so?
Is this called love?
.
Watching every notification
As the text flashes by
As if the most important thing
In my life is a lie
.
Why do I not want it to stop?
Another pointless sound
I just like to be busy
When there is nothing around
.
It is my dearest friend
It knows me better than me
If it could be my drug
It would be my ecstacy
.
Only the silence can hear me
My innermost thoughts
Can I confide in you?
Will you judge me?
I don’t dare say
Because I’m scared
I whisper
Then
Silence
.
.
I don’t know what to do
To say
Then
My words beat me
I just wanted
To confide
I’m sorry
Looking in the mirror
Shame staring back
Regret in my eyes
Why did you talk?
How does death change your perspective?
Isn’t it funny what death is?
What does it change?
Does it make us poorer?
Richer? Happier or sad?
Overjoyed, miserable?
Negative or mad?
What’s the first thing on our mind?
What did this person leave behind?
All the treasures you have to go through
Most of it junk, now they are through
What about the cockroaches that want a part
The fuckers that were never there from the fucking start
Why is everything money, what do they want?
Just their part of it, of course it belongs
Funny thing death, it’s never the same
If it wasn’t complicated it would be lame
Swallow me up
Spit me out
Crush me with your foot
And leave me to die
I don’t want to stay
To exist anymore
I fucking hate life
Every minute every chore
If I had the courage
I would end it all
But because I’m a coward
I’ll shoulder my fall
I hate it more
With every breath
What’s the point?
This torturous test
Take your head
Smash it against the wall
That’s what it feels like
Life this is called
Wish I could choke
Kick the chair to the floor
If I wasn’t so scared
Can’t do this anymore
I can’t sleep tonight
Troubled head
Troubled mind
Troubled soul
I wish that I could be cleansed
Be better
Sometimes just to drop of the side of the planet
I find myself asking always, why?
Why is the question that questions a question
And frankly, I don’t know anymore
What to do
What would be better?
If I could just disappear
.
.
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Listerslyrics 