I will feel better 6 9 23

I could have done it

I probably should have

But all this is getting to me

You know how every single thing gets on top of you

Every single thing feels like a chore

When you just can’t see the point

I mean why the fuck?

Everything that I have done over the last 22 years of adulthood

Why?

Am I the bad person?

Am I the narcissist?

I know that I am to blame

I admit it

But god, life is punishing

We live to work and we work to live

That pension is not gonna pay itself and it’s not gonna go far

How do people afford cars, houses, even a god damn holiday when they have kids?

What do we have to give to them?

Why are we so scared of failing them?

Why are we so scared to make the same mistakes as our parents and we go ahead and do it anyway?

When we try so hard to be positive, for what? To feel better ?

When we need to speak to someone for help, why should we have to pay for it? It’s not help, it’s a fucking service.

Why do we feel we can’t talk and we can’t trust other people because no one will listen or care? And does it even matter?

I needed to write what I feel here. I needed to share. I feel I can talk to strangers, this is a safe place. These are my feelings.

I hurt, cry, bleed, suffer, scream and fart.

I am human

I am me

I am proud to be me

I will banish the negative

I will feel better

I will be better

You are welcome to join me

I want to heal

I need to heal

I will heal

I will stand up for myself

Phil 6 9 23