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Sweet sixteen part 1

Sweet sixteen in sunny Southend

Having fun with all my friends

I see a girl so cute to me

I wonder if we could talk, maybe

I suck up the courage we start to chat

She has lovely curls, her hair tied back

That golden hair so firey red

I’m so mixed up within my head

Do you want to go out on a date?

I asked to her, but I had to wait

She had to go, to leave me there

I felt rejected, I could only stare

I walk back home, 10 miles in the cold

Seemed to take hours, the cold taking hold

I checked my Nokia every five minutes

Stressing myself out, feeling so sick

Would she call would she text?

If she did what would we do next?

I got ready for bed, getting fed up

She never called, I had had enough

I layed down sighing to myself

Would I always be single? On the shelf?

I cried to myself, feeling so depressed

Eventually falling asleep, finally getting rest

Dreaming of her, wishing to be close

In her arms, wishing to never be let go

Woken up, in the middle of the night

Telephone ringing, gave me a fright

Can’t even see, where did my glasses go?

I try to make it out, such a fuzzy glow

My god it’s her, she finally text

I find my glasses under the bed

What do I write? How do I start?

Could this be a beautiful depart?

.

What do you think? Want more? Let me know your thoughts…

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Will you go?

Never good enough

Everyone screams

You’d think it was

A murder scene

No one listens

As hearts break

Realising all

Was a mistake

Told to go

Get your stuff

Get the fuck out

Had enough

Think about it

Before you leave

Upsidedown

Life upheaved

What do you want?

Do you even know?

Will you stay?

Will you go?

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You’ll always have the status quo

Why do we always have to change?

Are we so imperfect we can’t refrain?

Driving our partners wild with every breath

Knowing it grates them is half the test

Never to decide if we stay or leave

All the shitty baggage we have to upheave

To start once again from nothing at all

As if in a video game looking at four walls

Driving a car thinking about a way out

Never to do it, just to cry and shout

You’ll always be a coward not to leave or jump

Backing away from a fight you always were the chump

Don’t worry, you’ll always have the status quo

Until one day you grow the balls get up and go

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Miss you my friend

Where did you come from?

Where is your mum?

Are you hungry?

Do you like to have fun?

What’s the matter?

Don’t be shy

I won’t hurt you

Please don’t cry

Come here

Give me a hug

In this life

All we need is love

You see now

You feel better

Don’t feel scared

You don’t have to, ever

You have nice eyes

So big and round

You wouldn’t hurt me?

A loving frown

I love your teeth

They’re so big

What do you eat?

Toast and Nesquik

What lovely wings

They are so cool

Can I touch them?

Can we go to school?

I can show you off

You can meet my class

There is this one kid

He’s such an ass

No don’t go

Please come back

Why you leaving?

You’re making me sad

I’ll miss you

Hope to see you again

I love you

Miss you my friend

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I never thought it would

So happy to work

To finally be

Accepted by someone

Financially free

To watch my bank

Start to grow

As I save money

Look at it go

I buy a car

Keep it pristine clean

Take care of it

Watch it gleam

I go to the pub

I drink and smoke

I enjoy myself

Life is no joke

Forty now

Still enjoying myself

Life is good

Ok health

All the money

In the bank

House paid off

No more rent

I never married

No kids for me

I was happy

Living free

Go on holiday

Where I like

Enjoy the sun

Beautiful life

Ready to retire

Put my feet up

Chill out a bit

It’s been a bit much

Ready to receive

My first pension cheque

Waited so long

To be paid back

My account online

Is looking good

Order in takeout

Some nice fancy food

As the doorbell rings

I go to open

I lose my footing

My hip is broken

I call for an ambulance

And dial 999

I cry to myself

Over the line

The lady on the phone

“Sir can you hear me?”

Unable to respond

I drop the phone feebly

I never thought

It would end like this

I just wish

I would have been missed

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I used to have a soul

These bars so solid

As I lay awake

I cannot move

I start to shake

I wonder what

Did I ever do?

Who I hurt?

I have no clue

Bound in chains

To never leave

Held in solitude

Just to please

Weak and malnourished

Hardley fed

Eaten by bed bugs

This sorry bed

As light shines in

My capture arrives

I wish they would kill me

This life so deprived

But they just look at me

No pity or shame

What’s on their mind?

What is their game?

I used to have a soul

Its spirit just left

It pitied me

Thought it would be best

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Have I become invisible?

Why can I not touch you?

Where did it all go wrong?

Why does nothing happen?

What is this song?

The days go by

The months rack up

Have I become invisible?

What is this love?

If I do not exist

Then why do we do this?

Put a stop to this torment

With a poison kiss

Forever searched love

In all its perfection

Maybe I will find it

In my resurrection

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Beep beep

Beep beep

Where am I?

Is this hell?

Beep beep

What is this?

This shell?

Beep beep

What’s going on?

Why can’t I speak?

Beep beep

Let me out of here

Why am I so weak?

Beep beep

Why can I hear voices?

But I can’t open my eyes?

Beep beep

Why am I trapped here?

Why do I hear goodbye?

Beep beep

I can hear crying

Faintly, as if in space

Beep beep

What is this torture?

What is this place?

Beep beep

Why can I not hear them?

Where did they go?

……….

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Fuck the haters

Fuck the haters

You toxic waste of space

Why the hell are you here?

In my sacred place

.

Did you need to comment

To say I needed help

Are you really concerned?

For my mental health

.

If you got nothing nice to say

Don’t say anything at all

Stop getting your jolly

At making me feel small

.

No one needs your opinion

If you’re using a knife

Your words cut deeply

You could even take a life

.

I hope you realise

The hurt that you caused

When you took your two minutes

And shit on my wall

.

Probably not

You pathetic piece of shit

Stop bullying people

And button your lip

.