depression · Life · managing depression · New work

Maybe the next time

As I awoke in my pit of despair

Laid out on the floor as a carcas left to rot

The flies were probably seeking their next meal

I was probably an eternity after the expiration date

Clutching my head as if it mattered

The afternoon sun pulsing through the dreary nets

The burning rays on my brow

Self pity was on my lips from the night before

Somewhere between the cheapest vodka and the stains on my shirt

A stream of bottles littered the floor

If only it was a river with a breakneck current

I wish it would suck me in never to return to my hell

Why is there always a next time?

An afternoon awakening sunrise

Maybe the next time I lose myself in the bottle

I can disappear for good

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Current affairs · depression · happy · Life · love

Pity life goes on

I’ve had it hard in life, I remember it well

Sixteen and I moved out, from hell to….hell!

I had experience me, under my belt

Making ends meet, god that shit smelt!

I was young, eighteen living with my bloke

Living at his parents so we weren’t broke

We were trying to buy some land, we busted our ass

200 miles, 3 days a week, Alaska’s fucking class!

Then my guy got a job close, awesome news

His parents loved me, god it was so cool

Things going well, so bloody great

My guy comes home, a lot on his plate

He sits down, I jump on his lap and try to kiss him

He pushes me off, to the floor like I sinned?

“What did I do, what’s wrong with you?”

“Get out, leave, I had enough of you!”

“No please, I love you, stay with me”

“Get the fuck out! It’s not to be!”

I left, stormed out, cried all night long

Got wasted somewhere before getting home

I go to our bed to get in next to my man

Not happening girl, you been banned

The prick left the morning, left me like that

The coward got his mum to toss me out, the twat!

I had nothing, no money, just my car

So I drove for a while and stopped at a bar

I slept at the beach, wasted that night

Wasters walking by gave me a fright

Tequila, smoking weed, partying when I didn’t work

My heart broken, in pieces from that poxy jerk!

I wanted to die, kill myself, drive into a wall

I couldn’t cope with life, not at all

So I smoked a million cigarettes, I drank and I got high

I did some bad things and I told lots of lies

I ended up at my sister’s place, she let me stay

I continued to party hard and I slept where I laid

Until one day my sister kicked me awake

Get up girl, get a grip for fucks sake

She told me to scrub up, stop feeling sorry for yourself

So I listened to her and I spruced up myself

She took me to a job interview, I got through

Within a week I got a second job too

I got my life back on the road and everything changed

Thanks to my sister for being there and helping my pain.

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A poem about the life of one of my readers. A massive thank you to you. If anyone else has a life experience that they would like me to write a poem about please email me.

I appreciate every one of my readers and I thank you for any contributions in comments, likes, follows and especially emails for taking the time to share with me your life stories that you wish me to write about.

If you feel I deserve a share please do not hesitate, I just wish to write to give you pleasure.

Stay positive.

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Phil lister 03/10/17

listerspoetry@gmail.com

depression · Life

Alone

I feel so alone

Here, sat here

Nothing but my beer 

In my hands

Thinking about ..

Nothing

Nothingness, 

Pointlessness

Emptyness

Swig my beer

Swallow it down

Wallowing

Self pitied mess

Same clothes

Odour rising

Bottle caps filling floor

Smash bottle

Into tv

Raged 

Glass splitting

Beer spilling 

Tears 

Flowing

Down my cheeks

To the floor

I am alone

I can’t take it

Anymore…

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Phil lister 18/09/17

listerspoetry@gmail.com

Picture – pixabay to my world

.

Share my poem and like my page on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/Listerslyrics-208518599682211/

.
Phil lister 18/09/17

listerspoetry@gmail.com

Picture – pixabay
Share my poem and like my page on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/Listerslyrics-208518599682211/

.
Phil lister 15/09/17

listerspoetry@gmail.com

Picture – pixabay