Everyone is welcome
As you stare into my soul
You see my every weakness
My flaws laid bare
I can’t help but cry
.
I want to be held
Not daring to move
My eyes unable to look at you
You take me in your arms
Holding me close
Your touch feels so good
I can’t help but cry
.
I tighten our embrace
In fear of rupture
I breathe your odour
Smelling your hair
Pulling you closer
Until you move away
Pushing my face up
I can’t help but cry
.
Your lips embrace mine
Everything will be ok
I can’t help but cry
.
I thought I could
Felt so good
To be inside
I thought I would
But I started thinking
And I thought to much
It got too much
Nothing was enough
So frustrated
What the fucks wrong?
Why not working?
What’s going on?
Am I broken?
Is it too hot?
All these excuses
Sucker punch
Normally
Not too quick!
This time
Stick won’t quit
Nevermind
Maybe next time
Ecstasy
Will hopefully be mine
What does that mean?
How many years torn at the seams?
Maybe all is not as it seems
Being more open can be a new scene
.
Does that mean we can play flirting a bit?
Doing naughty things, maybe crazy shit
It’s new to me is this something couples do?
Help have you done the same? I haven’t a clue
.
I’ve always been so sexual, always needed it
Temptation always great, so I suppressed that shit
To be told I can explore, to be twenty something again
To flirt with a different girl and to become friends
.
I still don’t know how I feel age has a funny effect
Sexual tendancies, orientations, exploring to inspect
What do we want? What pleases us now?
Is it the same for you? It blows my mind. Wow!
.
I wish I could lose myself
To never be found
To dance on the wind
And not make a sound
To be forgotten
Like an autumn’s fallen leaves
To never think
Where would they be?
To disappear
To never exist
To shy away
From that first kiss
To hide from my shadow
Where did I go?
I love this silence
Nobody knows
I’m here you’re there
Ha ha ha
What you looking for?
Why do you stare?
Boo, can you see me?
Look at me now
Nope, I’m invisible
I’m getting down
This is no fun
I don’t want to play anymore
Being this transparent
Is such a chore
.
This pain
Pulsing through my head
Throbbing angrily
As if it were a drum
Every pound
Vibrating me
Nauseated
As I struggle to stand straight
Even focusing is too hard
My thumb and index posed
Trying to sooth
Miserably
Why won’t it stop?
What did I do this time?
Medication inutile
Nothing can make it better
Hours pass by
But this unwelcome guest
Will not get the hint
And
Fuck off
As if it were the last guest
That will not get the hint
Forever overstaying their welcome
Did I ask you to come?
No
Please leave
Pity me
Please go away
.
I’m coming back home it’s been so long
I can’t remember all this time has gone
I missed the life, the swearing Brits
I missed the sarcasm, that special whit
I’ll be there soon, back in you
I’ll be gentle, can’t remember what to do
Did you miss me and my funny jokes?
They must be better now, I’m an old bloke
Going to eat so much, nice takeaways
Be unruly no work, just play
A bientôt my sunny Southend
Fuck I’ve missed you, soon be back my friend!
.
I love it here
The sheets feel so good
My naked skin warmed
It’s been hours
I vow to never leave
Pushing into the pillow
So soft and fluffy
Turning it to look for that coldness
That fresh cold bite
Against my face
Stretching my legs
Till my feet overlap
I think about my toes
And wiggle them
Why do we have toes?
And why toenails?
Bringing my knees to my chest
Clutching at the biggest pillow
I feel safe
I feel happy
I sigh
Listening to my breathing
In and out
It’s gentle
I close my eyes
Thinking to myself
This is nice
.
At least I’m at peace
More people came than I expected
Surprising really
I never thought about this day
To watch my children watch me
I hate to see them sad
I wonder what everyone is thinking?
Are they grieving?
Did they love me?
Are they happy?
Well there is no money
Only debt
Couldn’t even get that right
Worse than Brexit
Look at that shit it left behind
I wonder what they are going to eat?
What do you eat normally?
I would sell my soul for a fish and chips
Oh no, a nice chicken curry
Good and spicy
I wonder whether it’s still as spicy?
Goodbye suckers
I’m off to haunt my ex
.
Find my latest poetry book here
I’m thinking
Quietly
Wondering in my mind
I’m enjoying the darkness
The silence
It’s almost ecstatic
Perfection as my body floats
As if the goal can be reached
My eyes are closed
But I know where I’m going
My senses heightened
I can feel my breathing
My chest expanding
I hear the inhalation
It’s mesmerising
I don’t have to worry
I don’t even have to exist
.
Find my latest poetry book here
I used to be a skinny twig
I hated me so much
If you’d put two fingers on me
I’d fall with that touch
.
I always wanted muscles
To be attractive to girls
I even drank those protein shakes
Hoping my muscles would swell
.
I gave up trying
And eventually with time
The weight starting catching me
But I felt just fine
.
Blood tests taken for the doc
I wonder what I’ll see
Only bad thing really
My cholesterol high for me
.
The next time it was better
I was so proud of me
Under control I thought
I felt almost happy
.
But each year at the docs
Another kilo would add
Too much butter and beer
Was making me get fat
.
Until the comments about my weight
Started getting to me
It’s easy how it sinks in
How ever meant to be perceived
.
I stopped eating mornings
Going through to lunch
Not even a snack for me
A little sugar crunch
.
It’s been a month now
My trousers keep falling
I hope it’s really true
I haven’t started stalling
.
It’s funny how a little word
Can get to you so much
Disorder can install itself
Dieting is rough
.
Find my latest poetry book here
Listerslyrics 