family · Life · love · New work

Beautiful sun

It was not cold this morn

Dew was on the grass

The breeze almost still

As if waiting for nature to whisper

To make my hairs stand up

Watching the horizon

As I have a million times

Awaiting its glow

Until finally

It peeps its head

Mesmerising yellow

I longed for your warmth

My naked skin breathing you

Your incredible brilliance

Fill my every nook

I am yours

To take me again and again

I will always wait for you

Fidel to the end

Beautiful sun

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Childhood · Me

How my bedroom was

How my bedroom was

My teddies stacked to the side

Watching over me with approving stares

As if knowing my next moves

My bed was a stage

For my adoring silent crowd

As I would jump to touch the sky

Springs squeaking ready for the next jump

Elation in my movements

Until

The unapproving voice echoed

Then

The thuds on the floor

Silence….

As I listened

Pure concentration

Hairs noisily erect on my neck

As still as a mouse

Awaiting to see my predator

Then

The stairs thumped

Scattering to my teddies

Hiding in their pile

Searching for safety

Two eyes peaking from a fluffy mountain

Holding my breath

Motionless

Until

The door flung open

Then

I went to my happy place

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depression · family · Life · love · New work

Sometimes we need to cry

Sometimes we need to cry

To release the pain away

To empty all the stress and strain

Not to keep it all at bay

We are not weaker for letting go

We are stronger in ourselves

Embrace and stop fighting it

Think of your mental health

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depression · Life

Just because I don’t talk about it

Just because I don’t talk about it

Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt

Hidden in the depths of me

Always getting worse

It is I who chooses to fight this way

Against my demons inside

If I choose to lock them away

Then my rules, they will abide

Even though they claw at me

To open to them the door

It is me that will keep them captive

Not them, not anymore.

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The immigrant

2. If I could paint you a picture

If I could paint you a picture

Of the world outside

Smudging all the bitterness

Hoping it would subside

It’s so hard when I lie to you

Having to describe

Covering all the chaos

By telling you my lies

Even if it’s to protect you

To hide the truth from you

I don’t want you to worry

I do the best I can do

Thinking of the day

That everything changed

What normal must look like

How it must be strange?

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The immigrant

1. Am I good enough

I can’t look into her eyes for shame

Although she cannot see my pain

My beautiful wife sitting there

Can’t help herself, she can only stare

Playing with our sons car in her hand

He used to play with it, in the sand

She used to laugh, I remember how

That has all changed, this is now!

“Dear I am in pain, behind my eyes”

I bow to look, I don’t know why?

“When can I see a doctor?” she pleads

“When we get some papers” I conceed

As I look out the curtain and ask myself why

Unresponsive as I stare at the sky

Sometimes I am glad that she cannot see

But what does that say about selfish old me

What would be her reaction? Would she still love?

Her pathetic husband, am I good enough?

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family · Life · love · New work

Sometimes we just need a hug

Sometimes we just need a hug

Therapeutic form of love

Better than a drug

A little, tiny, BIG BIG HUG

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depression · family · Life · New work

I leave the home to walk a bit

I leave the home to walk a bit

To digest the day and breathe

All the heavyness that I feel

I need to be upheaved

A moment with the nature

For an hour or two

Until it gets dark

Or I haven’t got a clue

I need to empty myself

To push it all out

Release the negativity

The nuclear fallout

Oh that feels so much better

My time all alone

Think it’s time to go back now

To my family, my home

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