Everyone is welcome
I sometimes think of the noose
The great escape
The selfish greed of getting out
Leaving everyone to clear up the mess
.
The heavy sack on my back
Voluntarily pulling me down
I don’t want to breathe
I don’t want to fight
.
I’m tired
Good for nothing
What do I give?
What is the point?
.
If I could I would
Just give up
Fade away
Who the fuck cares
How can I fix myself?
When I don’t know how to
The manuel was never written
And the service is due
Numb inside
Living with myself
Feeling constantly
On the shelf
.
I am difficult
To be around
To live with
Make others frown
.
It’s inside of me
Can’t explain it
I’ll just write
For now
.
Nothingness
Always and at once
Aching
To feel like before
.
Time has passed
Change too
I won’t
I know me
.
The sacred path
That we wonder
If it even
Exists
.
I’ll never get there
Nor do I want
All is fake
A myth
.
Hope is overrated
Live to die
Only waiting
Million questions why
.
We’ll just never know
Answers evading
Like the new
Disease
.
At least it’s better
Than suffering
Trying to work out
And explain
.
This horrid mess
We call a life
Make our mistakes
And ask. Why?
I hate money
It’s control over us
Can’t get enough of it
It causes such a fuss
.
Everything depends on it
Can’t get away
Always need more of it
At the end of every day
.
Debt comes to bite your ass
And it rips you a new hole
It tosses the windows out
Until the vacuum takes hold
.
There are always others
That are much worse off than me
But my biggest stress of all
It has its way with me
.
So much worry
So much stress
Sometimes wondering
What is this test
.
Cars always breaking down
Kids to pay for
Working for your job
Feeling like a whore
.
Now we have to live to work
To pay all the fucking bills
Eating all my insides out
Like a poisonous swill
.
What is next to save myself
To get away from this
Put a bullet through my skull
Sure I won’t be missed
So so young
In the bedroom alone
Dark dark feelings
In the family home
.
Penknife out
Grating the skin
Starting to cut now
Pushing within
.
Feeling the pain
Gritting the teeth
Seeing the blood
Feeling misbelief
.
Tears of rage
Flow from eyes
Hating everything
True despise
.
Hating life
To finally stop
Giving up
Had enough
.
Laying down
Looking up
Regretting now
The open cut
.
Old t shirt
Wrapped around
Foetal silence
Not a sound
.
Tired now
Suffering weep
Teary dreams
Fading to sleep
So they call it morning blues
And it’s viscious too
Invading your mind
Seeping into
All the cracks
The crevices fine
Through the veins
Intertwined
How it weeps
Into the blood
Causing dismay
Abysmal drug
Face lay bare
For all to see
Go on look
This misery
As it lasts so long
All through the day
Toying with the mind
It’s way to play
Delve far within
Peeling back the skin
Controlling emotions
It should be a sin
As the tears fall
Unable to hold back
Seeking answers
For all the cracks
Tear yourself down
Build the bricks back
Pull it together
Morning blues attack
Why is depression so overwhelming?
It seems as if fighting it is useless but I don’t even know why it is there.
I didn’t go to bed with it but it lays with my head on the pillow and when I look at myself brushing my teeth.
The car journey to work automatic as my brain tells me stories of what I can do as it holds me captive as I cannot switch off.
It is so heavy, piggy backing me while I get my coffee and sit down at my desk.
Thank god I have my job to push these thoughts away.
Get off my back!
Still it remains closed
A prison with bars around
No voice
No courage
Just eyes
Waiting
For what
Calm
Hysteric
Suicidal
What does it matter
Who cares
Really
Who cares…
If today I said something
That yesterday I would not dare
Would I be respected
Would they even care
To have the courage
To be honest for once
If not to the other person
To myself, the important one
Thoughts run through our head
Free as the wind
Doubts and regrets
Weeping in
Not knowing ever
Which way to turn
Only from our mistakes
Do we really learn
Listerslyrics 