I sometimes think of the noose
The great escape
The selfish greed of getting out
Leaving everyone to clear up the mess
.
The heavy sack on my back
Voluntarily pulling me down
I don’t want to breathe
I don’t want to fight
.
I’m tired
Good for nothing
What do I give?
What is the point?
.
If I could I would
Just give up
Fade away
Who the fuck cares
Listerslyrics 
It sure seems that way sometimes. Still, we keep on! Creating new things.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep, thank god for a place to vent
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way, Phil. I can identify with it totally and have often felt the same feelings. I hope you are getting some support somewhere, although this sounds like a very lonely place to be. I know you say your writing helps express your feelings, which you do beautifully, but sadly here. I find writing very cathartic, although the feelings are still in the background. Do you have friends and family who are supporting you at the moment? Sometimes, the people closest to us have no idea how we’re feeling. I know, in my case, I tend to keep things to myself (apart from when I write on WP) as I don’t want to worry people. Sending my best wishes and a healing hug x 🤗
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Ellie, up and down at the moment on an emotional roller coaster, I could talk but i don’t, just the way it is. I think men feel that they can’t discuss things, or they won’t, I am not much different. Too personal.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sorry you’re finding things so tough at the moment, Phil. I can imagine it’s hard to talk about the way you feel. It seems unfair that men find it difficult to talk about their feelings openly. I understand that some things are too personal to speak about. I wish you well and hope you will soon be feeling better x
LikeLiked by 1 person