Everyone is welcome
.
I feel so trapped in all that I do
6 feet under, no way through
I see the light, through the cracks
Other than that, it’s pitch black
I can’t breathe, no air left
When will I take, my last breath?
I claw with my fingers blunt till the end
Searching for help, in need of a friend
This coffin won’t open, closed from outside
Waves are crashing, soil subsides
Deeper my box falls, hurtling away
I will rest in peace, better that way
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My first poetry available for purchase.
This is
My once upon a time
When the suffering commenced
And I began to rhyme
Family problems
With mum and dad
They were separated
I never liked that
As I was scared
Scarred in my heart
As a lost soul
Where to start?
Easy to cry
Never understood
Impossible to help
As if you could?
My shell protecting
From the outside
Impossible to open
This was my life
I would curl in a ball
To be alone
I hated myself
This was my home
Quiet at school
Colorblind too
Difficult to make friends
Oh so true
I would hurt myself
To inflict pain
Scratching my arms
What did it gain?
Burning myself
To suffer some more
Days dragged by
Like a chore
I wished to punish
To harm myself
Through all the torment
The mental health
Anger so dark
Eating away
Hard to push out
To keep at bay
Although crying out
Silently so
I needed help
For it to go
If someone was there
To listen, just that
It would of helped
A selfless act
.
My first poetry available for purchase.
I have never felt so alone
When surrounded by many
I have never felt so imprisoned
Even though I am free to go
I have never felt so hopeless
Even when I can choose
I have never felt so lost
Even though I know the way
.
My tears I cannot cry
My thoughts I cannot lie
My angst I cannot suppress
Even though I try
.
Trapped doing the same each day
The same old daily grind
Gaping hole inside of me
The bottom you won’t find.
.
I have never felt like escaping
As much as I do now
To end it all as a coward
The only way I know how
Nothing can describe this emptyness
Never reaching chasms
As if falling continously
Unscared, unworried
Nothingness, air passes by
No sound
Turning and turning
I want to feel
To drive a jagged rock through my body
To suffer real pain
Fear to impose
Adrenaline to envelop
Outer body outer mind
I can only look on
This pointless solitude
Cannot be helped
Cannot be heard
Patheticness
Pityful screaming inside
Let me fall
I am
Unsavable
I feel so empty, I cannot describe
It’s a mess, this thing that I call a life.
It’s eating away at me, black inside
Destroying me, controlling as I slide.
Down to the blackest depths, clouds all around
Impossible to see or make a sound.
Coughing out loud, I’ve suffered for so long
Crimson fills my hands, something must be wrong.
Pointless, destitute, feelings that one has
Exhaling smoke, cold reflecting on past.
Friends, what are they? Absent in time of need
Always there for a handout, with their greed.
Unneeded scum, better off that I’m dead
At least I have no shame, hanging my head.
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Phil lister 02/06/18
listerspoetry@gmail.com
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