family · Life · love

Suicidal rage

Pathetic excuse for a father

Pathetic excuse for a lover

Temper frayed from sleepless nights

Rage envelops with a fright

Snaps in a moment, fist through the door

Argument ensues, emotion so raw

Go on hit me, I deserve it, sorry excuse

Losing it like that, what a recluse

My boy there innocent, said nothing wrong

Aggressive dad, what are you doing, it’s wrong

Take him back to his mums, he falls asleep

I am so sorry, so pathetic, I start to weep

A six year’s olds comments, cuts like a knife

It’s shocking how they look at life

I drive off to work, one thing on my mind

End it, now, escape from this bind

Crash the car, crash it good

Wreck myself break it, if only I could

Selfish of me, to walk out on my family

My kids, my girlfriend what life to be

In the biggest mess I ever could be

I’m certainly the lowest ever I’ve been

Christmas makes you feel really down

Certainly this evening I did nothing but frown

I’ve calmed down now from a suicidal rage

All this because of a depressed snap rampage

.

https://www.facebook.com/Listerslyrics-208518599682211/

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Phil lister 11/12/17

listerspoetry@gmail.com

8 thoughts on “Suicidal rage

  1. Oh Phil. This is wonderful, with the raw emotion and honesty. I can only hope that this isn’t real life for you! Everyone gets down. Everyone makes mistakes. The best thing to do is forgive yourself, ask forgiveness of your family, pick yourself up and keep going. They need you. WE need you, here in the world, because you make it a better, more beautiful place. ))hugs(( friend

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thanks, it’s nice to here, poem is 100% real, what I felt today, if I didn’t have people counting on me I felt that low today I could’ve done it. My kids and my gf don’t deserve that even if I am a total arsewhole who feels sorry for himself and makes excuses cause I am that bad I punch a door with my son in the room, just pathetic, but it is nice to have a nice comment from someone who I know that can relate and thank you, it means a lot

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Phil. I am so sad to hear that. But again, it’s okay to make mistakes. Kids are resilient and I think it’s okay for them to see the full gamut of our emotions. I can only recommend that you sit down and talk to him about it. Explain that you were angry/sad but that wasn’t the best way to handle it maybe. This shows him you know you are human and make mistakes just like he does. Also, I recommend punching a pillow next time! Much better on the knuckles and wrist. I wish there was something I could do for you, to help you walk through this season of your life. It’s alright to have highs and lows…. but better to have a friend to walk with through the valleys and mountaintops.

        Liked by 4 people

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