Searching for you

Why do we continue?

Why do we continue?

In our history

There’s no happy ending

No wonderful to be

The talking has finished

Between me and you

Silence envelops us

It is what we do

It is always the other’s fault

Blame always has its place

Pointless arguments

In one another’s face

Depression setting in

I am sure for you too

Cause it eats at my soul

Devouring me all through

Hopelessness to leave it all

To find my own place

Being together a day

We need our own space

It’s impossible to quit

To say those last words

To read the final page

To fly off like a bird

When kids are involved

Tearing us apart

Shattering us to pieces

Breaking our hearts

That final decision

To close that door

For it will never re-open

Your decision, evermore

.

Taken from my latest poetry book

29 thoughts on “Why do we continue?

  1. A beautiful poem, but so sad, Phil. I was thinking about you this morning as I noticed you hadn’t shared anything for a while. How are you doing other than the heartache you are experiencing? I hope you’re doing okay, or as okay as you can be. It’s nice (if that’s the right word) to see you back again. Ellie

    Liked by 1 person

      1. My mom will be here tomorrow. She told me to have a plan, but I can’t plan because I start panicking and can’t act normal. He’s taking me on a getaway, and I’m terrified. I have heaps of faith now. I’ve been wandering the desert, alone with my made up friends, for a while. I believe I’m safe. ❤️🌻

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You need to listen to her, I can understand that your alternate reality is what gets you through it all. Use it for as long as you need to. I hope you are safe

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      3. I think I am. I’m just praying and eating candy. I’m getting a bit chubby, but whatever. Who do I need to impress? I just lost over 60 pounds recently. That was random, sorry.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. The truth is, they made up lies that they believed. And didn’t see that I was being hurt. All I wanted was help. I just needed 1 friend. Just 1 to tell me how to get away without dying. Now, I reach out for help from the people who were making fun of me and making up lies about me. Great world we live in. Don’t save a scared girl because you think she’s slutty (I’m not).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That seems terrible that you are in this situation. If you need to get away is there a way that you can? Plan it, think it over in your head. Only you can know if it is right to leave.

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      1. I will leave. I just needed someone to talk to. When he asks what’s wrong, I tell him I’m afraid of the trip… Which I am. But I’m ok. Just have to be weird because he was watching my blog.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Gotta admit, it was so long that I have something really big to work on, for the healing. Something I’m really proud of. And I’m not telling ANYONE. I used to tell him everything, and wondered why he didn’t believe in me.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yes I’m a real person, last time I checked. It’s good to have something to work on, certainly whatever makes you proud is a good thing. Do whatever makes you happy. Even that one piece of satisfaction or good news is more than you had before.

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      4. I shouldn’t have vented to you. I’m sorry for using you for validation. Thanks for being a real person, though. It was good to speak to a real person. I need to heal myself now. But I wanted to apologize for the basically what was abuse (using a stranger for validation).

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Don’t apologize, I was genuinely worried about you yesterday, I wrote a piece thinking about what you said to me yesterday. Until the next time. Don’t hesitate if you need to talk.

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