depression · family · Life

Gambling addiction

Hi guys,

I am someone who is 35, I’ve got two kids and a busy life, I used to love playing video games, I am a total kid at heart but I finally asked the question after my last episode being addicted to a game.

There are companies out there that deliberately produce games that get you addicted and you find yourself spending money on their games and you can only think about the game.

I had a game called deck heroes, I thought about that game all day, I was in a guild and I could not get enough, yeah I spent money on it, I’m not proud, I was addicted.

I finally asked myself what’s more important the game or my family, my family won and I went cold turkey. I can tell you that it was hard, really hard, but me and the missus argued about me playing that game, I cried because I didn’t want to leave, I felt forced but hey. It’s just a game, you have to pay to advance, there are so many people better than you and well hey hum. It’s lame! Cold turkey, ended. I think about it now and I laugh but I was eating sleeping this game around a baby, a seven year old and my partner.

Ever since I cannot get into games on the mobile phone, they either seem too long or pay to advance.

I recently started dabbling in the casino slot machines on Google plus store, only interested in the highest charted ones, well you get free tokens to start off with, but you lose them quickly, these games look great but I want to play others but I’m stuck, oh my gosh you have to pay to get tokens to advance, so I downloaded another and another and another, I think I downloaded around 5 or 6 but it’s funny, these games are all the same. Use your free tokens that are plentiful to start off with, then zero tokens, but we’ll give you a few hundred every 3 hours, so login play 3 games then buy some more!

I was finding myself wanting to play again and again but I can’t, that’s my addiction kicking in again, I am AWARE of my addiction, I REFUSE to pay money to play, maybe before a few quid wouldn’t of bothered me but here it does. I AM STRONG, I WILL NOT SUCCOMB, games are my drug, I am an addict, my money pays for the cocaine and heroin, I REFUSE.

Life · love

The argument

.

It’s brewing

Feel it surround

Enveloping two

Go to town

Get it out

In the air

Scream out loud

Lay it bare

Love, hate

Rage with might

Piercing words

Fateful fright

Throw everything

Across the room

Self implode

Hearts go boom

.

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Phil lister 25/05/18

listerspoetry@gmail.com

Life · love

My cheat

.

You don’t mean it, to hurt me

But you do it so well

I know you’ve been with her

You have her smell

Go on, wash off your guilt

And then under the quilt

My dirty prolific liar

You deserve to be on fire

You burn me, deceptive rat

I have to accept and live with that

I’m not sexy enough, we never do it

To make love or even play a bit

You prefer your toy I’m sure she’s young

Beautiful, not like me, we never have fun

What happened to us? Did we just grow old?

When did you decide with your cards to fold?

Maybe I’m to blame? Didn’t do what you liked

Maybe that’s why our sex life stopped it’s spike

But you come back to me every night

You creep around, ever so light

It is just easier to continue, just carry on

Why change what we have? Nothing wrong

I couldn’t be without you, even if you mess around a bit

I know, I’m not stupid, you can be a dick

Sleep my love, snore away next to me

You’re in my bed, my cheat, I agree

.

My new books are available on Amazon

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Phil lister 25/05/18

listerspoetry@gmail.com

Life · love

Jealousy

.

Jealousy

It’ll kill you you know

Green, invasive,

Who likes green?

You love them, no?

Give them their space

Space to roam free

To look for better?

To look for someone else?

Oh it’s eating you inside

Eating you alive

More powerful than your anger

Your anger

Your anger

Jealousy can be like a disease

It’s unhealthy to be displeased

To make someone you love

Trapped like a pet dove

They are a human being

It is you that is not seeing

What you are doing

And you’ll only push them away

Your love, remember the first day

The day you two met

Held hands, wept

Cuddled close

And what do you know?

It’s not like it was

Because you do not trust

Your untrust becomes lust

You are a couple, give them space

Just a little bit of grace

To your one and only love

Because you don’t want them to have enough

And flee from you and your jealous ways

You might just find yourself amazed

.

My new books are available on Amazon

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If you liked my work please share πŸ˜ƒ and make my day!

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Phil lister 24/05/18

listerspoetry@gmail.com

Current affairs · fantasy · Life · Success · work

Be famous

.

Want to be noticed

Crave attention

A better life

Some affection

.

Try everything

Everything more

Sell your body

Become a whore

.

Exhaust yourself

Self esteem expired

Final moments

It’ll come to the wire

.

We’re all poets, writers

Authors, the like

All fighting for fame

To improve our life

.

Kill to be famous?

Sell your soul?

Cheat, take or steal?

Ride the black hole?

.

Sure, yes you would

You’d do what you can

To be famous, why not?

You gotta be the man

.

My new books are available on Amazon

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Phil lister 19/05/18

listerspoetry@gmail.com

Life · news

Never mind

.

Never mind

It’s not that bad

No need to be sad

Be a little rad

Never mind

Life goes on

You could sing a song

Or just sing along

Never mind

No regrets

Place your bets

Don’t get wet

Never mind

It’s dark in there

You must beware

I hope you don’t scare

Never mind

You didn’t mean it

Not even a little bit

Just in the shit

Never mind

He’ll get up

With a bit of luck

Ok, maybe you’re fucked

.

My new books are available on Amazon

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If you liked my work please share πŸ˜ƒ and make my day!

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Phil lister 10/05/18

listerspoetry@gmail.com

family · Life

Eviction

.

It is the day

We’ve been waiting for

Them strangers banging

At the door

I haven’t paid the bills

I’m burdened by debt

The landlord’s had enough

He’s taking back the let

We’ve spent many years

Living here

Raised the kids

We’ve drank many beers

But I’m out of work

Sold everything

I’m in a mess

I’d give anything

Where will we go?

Do they care?

All the neighbours

Stop to stare

Are we vermin?

The scum of the earth

No, we’re just poor

We have no worth

The door slams open

They burst in

The time is now

To be put in the bin

I hold my family

Close to my chest

I can’t breathe

I can’t bear the rest

.

My new books are available on Amazon

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If you liked my work please share πŸ˜ƒ and make my day!

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Phil lister 10/05/18

listerspoetry@gmail.com

Life

Stubborn

.

Am I stubborn?

Stubborn am I

I dig my heels in

Like a rake to the eyes

I know my mind

I know what I want

I speak my truth

And it isn’t a front

My principles are there

I will not budge

Think what you like

I don’t give a fudge

My opinion matters

I won’t accept anything else

I am somewhat selfish

And I think of myself

Is it a pitfall?

My characteristic laid bare

It is the way I am

My stubbornness, beware

.

My new books are available on Amazon

.

If you liked my work please share πŸ˜ƒ and make my day!

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Phil lister 08/05/18

listerspoetry@gmail.com

happy · Life · love

Dare to defy

.

Why do we always want more?

Why does it eat us up?

What difference does it make?

If we want to change our luck

.

Do we suffer from greed?

Is it a bad thing?

Is it installed in us?

This constant need to win

.

We cannot stay still

Static in daily grind

Parallel continually

Like a boring line

.

DARE TO DEFY

Scream and shout

Turn it on its head

Show life what you’re about

.

You can be better

Selfish, hell yeah

Grab the bull by the nuts

Make that bugger scared

.

Positive, a winner

You are number one

You have all the power

This battle is won!

.

My new books are available on Amazon

.

If you liked my work please share πŸ˜ƒ and make my day!

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Phil lister 03/05/18

listerspoetry@gmail.com